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Germans were Against War with Iraq

international

When German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder declared “Nein zum Irak-Krieg” (“No to war in Iraq“), pro-war Americans and Brits were appalled by Deutschland’s cowardice.
I see it differently.
If you compared war to alcohol, Germans are like your recently sobered uncle who suffered from alcoholism for decades. Now imagine if your family was ridiculing him for not loosening [...]

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Why Do Dumb People Exist?

politics

I received that idiotic mass email about Obama (Re: Fw: FW: [Fwd: Fw: FW: Barack Hussien Obama) and I mass responded debunking the “facts”, cut and paste pro-Obama material and cc’ed everyone whose inbox was involuntarily raped by this slanderous list of lies about OB.
Then I got an email from a “lady” named Maggie.
——– Original [...]

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I Wish I was Puerto Rican Because I Love to Go Camping

poetry

I was enlightened with the fact, that mangoes belong to the same family as poison ivy, the Sumac family. Certain cultures have made this fruit a staple in their diet. Puerto Rico became one of those countries. In 1750, the mango was introduced to their island and Puerto Rico embraced it. After two and half [...]

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Perspective

stories

Five years ago, my ex-girlfriend’s father generously gave us a seven day ski vacation at the Snowshoe Resort in West Virginia for Christmas. He paid for the hotel, lift tickets, and the snowboard rental. All we had to pay for was transportation and food. This was fantastic; unfortunately I grew up in Texas and didn’t [...]

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New Delhi Deputy Mayor Killed by Monkeys

international

The growing population of monkeys in New Delhi, India has been an epidemic for quite some time because many Hindus worship the deity Hanuman, a monkey god who symbolizes strength.
It became international news when a gang of marauding monkeys mauled their deputy mayor to death.
When I read this, my first thought was, “Man, [...]

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Overheard in a Starbucks on Fifth Avenue

overheard nyc

MIDWESTERN MODEL

How’s your new agency? Any perks?

PERUVIAN MODEL
At first they were great, then stupid 9-11 happened. Now I have to fly coach.

MIDWESTERN MODEL
Yeah, that sucks. I hate terrorists. You’re from Peru right?

PERUVIAN MODEL
Si.

MIDWESTERN MODEL
I just watched a show about Conquistadors. They were reeeeallly mean.

PERUVIAN MODEL
Conquista-what? Who? What happened?

MIDWESTERN MODEL
You know…when the Incas were killed by [...]

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“There’s a New Monorail in Town, Springfield!”

favorites

There is a fairly new (two year old) monorail from Manhattan to JFK called the AirTrain®. Which is great because it cuts the commute time in half.

“Monorail, Monorail,Monorail, Monorail…Can you hear it, Manhattan?!”
Unfortunately, not enough people even know about it. So the Port Authority of NY&NJ have been plastering billboards everywhere. They reads: “AirTrain®. If [...]

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