wordplay

I Want to Coin a New Phrase

entertainment

ver·bal bu·kka·ke [vur-buhl boo-ka-kay]: Verbal bukkake is a group practice that features a person (usually drunk) being verbally abused on by multiple people (usually comedians, cops or drill sergeants). Example: The annoying drunk girl in the front row refused to shut-up so the remaining comics were forced to deliver a verbal bukkake upon her. Origin: [...]

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Different Grades of Unleaded Gas at Mobil

wordplay

Super Unleaded is 93 octane. Special Unleaded is 89 octane. Regular Unleaded is only 87 octane. They should re-think their labeling system considering that the average IQ of a human is about 100. 93 octane should be Regular, 89 octane would be Borderline, and 87 octane would be “Special”. GAS ATTENDANT What can I do [...]

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Mothers Don’t Understand Technology

technology

Mom Honey, when is your show on TV? Me It’s Friday at 8PM on Channel 45. Mom I wish I hadn’t sold my VCR. Me Do you have a DVR cable box? Mom No. Maybe I should buy one of those DiVo® machines. Me You should. It’s sad that the band Devo whores out their [...]

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I Drive Women to Bulimia

international

My girlfriend told me, “It’s men like you that drive women to Bulimia.” “That’s ridiculous!” I said, “I don’t even know where Bulimia is.” I Mapquest-ed it and found out it’s actually a small country right next to Hungary and Low-self-esteemia. I could fly a woman to Eastern Europe but couldn’t I drive a woman [...]

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I Have Sensitive Teeth

wordplay

My dentist said I should use Sensodyne because I have sensitive teeth. I didn’t think they were that sensitive until my girlfriend said my teeth make my penis look small and then I started to cry.

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