wordplay

I’m writing a biography about Kevin Bacon in the sixth person.

wordplay

It’s about a busboy named Enrique who is blown by a waitress whose father is a chiropractor of a women who just bought an autographed DVD of Footloose off of eBay™ from a guy in Phoenix who was actually blown by Kevin Bacon.

Read more→

The Phrase “Flame Retardant” is a Little Harsh

danisms

I like to say, “My pet ant is a homosexual with a learning disablity”.

Read more→

You Could Sell Frozen Dihydrogen Monoxide to an Inuit

international

The terms Eskimo and Husky have become officially politically incorrect for the indigenous people in the north. The word Eskimo was derived from the French word Esquimaux which literally means “flesh eaters”. Inuit is the preferred name of the handful of surviving inhabitants who were desecrated by Europeans from the 1800s through the 1900s. However, [...]

Read more→

Disoriented Tourist

wordplay

Whenever, I surface from the subways, and confidently head in one direction on an avenue. Inevitably, someone walking beside will notice my keen navigational skill and will ask me, “Are we going up or down?” I have two responses*: 1. “Actually we are going horizontal. Our vertical displacement is zero. What are you stupid?” Then [...]

Read more→

I Want to Coin a New Phrase

entertainment

ver·bal bu·kka·ke [vur-buhl boo-ka-kay]: Verbal bukkake is a group practice that features a person (usually drunk) being verbally abused on by multiple people (usually comedians, cops or drill sergeants). Example: The annoying drunk girl in the front row refused to shut-up so the remaining comics were forced to deliver a verbal bukkake upon her. Origin: [...]

Read more→

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →