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technology

Laser Light Technicians Beware

technology

I wonder if laser light technicians are scared by jazzy PowerPoint presentations?

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Anyone can master digital wizardry…

danisms

…I want to master digital necromancy. Who cares if you can Photoshop? I will be able to resurrect my dead computer into a zombie computer.

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I’m a Cheap Bastard

technology

I am trying to design and launch my website before December and I’ve been glued to my laptop for the last two weeks learning Photoshop and GoLive.My eyes are strained, my back aches, and my mind is filled with bullshit information, that hinders my ability to talk with civilians in the physical world. PHP, MySQL, [...]

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jpegs, mpegs, and who-gives-a-fuck-pegs.

technology

At my brother’s wedding in Texas, I was the only one without a digital camera. I felt like I was at a farmer’s market, watching everybody showing their produce. Shoot, pose, show…pose, shoot, show…show, shoot, pose. A monotonous Factory of Fun. The “Present” was slipping away, while everyone was peering into the “Past”. “Like sands [...]

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Mothers Don’t Understand Technology

technology

Mom
Honey, when is your show on TV?

Me
It’s Friday at 8PM on Channel 45.

Mom
I wish I hadn’t sold my VCR.

Me
Do you have a DVR cable box?

Mom
No. Maybe I should buy one of those DiVo® machines.

Me
You should. It’s sad that the band Devo whores out their equipment to record videos.

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Technology has atrophied my ability to memorize.

people

I vividly remember how proud I was when I stood up in front of my kindergarten class and recited my phone number.
A quarter of a century later, I can’t even remember the first three digits of my girlfriend cell phone number.
My attachment with my phone’s Phonebook is atomic.
This unhealthy relationship becomes crystal clear when someone [...]

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MoMAudio is Horseshit

favorites

MoMA offers a free audio tour to “help” visitors understand what the artist is trying to express.
While helpful with some, you end up looking like a jackass to those brave souls who ventured forth sans audio guidance as you stare at an untitled canvas painted blue by Yves Klein for five minutes listening to a [...]

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