sexuality

Friendly’s® Happy Ending Sundae

business

When I was in Virginia, I drove by a Friendly’s® restaurant and noticed that the marquee claimed, “Free Happy Ending Sundae with Every Entree”. My Uncle Ed was in the Marines and had told me as a teenager that happy endings was code word for oral pleasure at a massage parlor. The temptation was too [...]

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P.S.A. for Dating

entertainment

If you’re going to see a movie, choose wisely. I was on a first date once and we rented The Accused with Jodie Foster?” Watching The Accused on the first date will make you more uncomfortable than watching Richard Simmons have sex with Janet Reno while they watch David Koresh have sex with an underage [...]

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LIBERATOR® | Bedroom Adventure Gear

sexuality

My girlfriend is a sex columnist and occasionally recieves free sex products. A while back she got a shipment of LIBERATOR® sex furniture. I highly recommend the ‘The Ramp/Wedge Combo’. However, we’ve been arguing for the past week and our sex life has waned. Now I prop it against the wall and use it as [...]

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Top or Bottom?

sexuality

Whenever a homosexual individual introduces me to their partner, I immediately try to determine who’s the “husband” and who’s the “wife” in the relationship. It’s always difficult because they both call each other “partner”. It would be extremely helpful if they designated different words. When I hear “partner”, it reminds me of a law office. [...]

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My Girlfriend is Hungarian and Egyptian

sexuality

Occasionally, I let her borrow my Old Spice deodorant which is pH balanced for a man. When she comes back from the gym after a long run, somehow her ancestral, Middle-Eastern/European perspiration overpowers it. I believe she has the pH balance of an ogre.

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