science

Advances in Muppet® Medicine

entertainment

Snuffleupagus fans around the globe were sadden by the news of the well-known wooly pacaderm being diagnosed with testicular cancer. Fortunately, New Zealand scientists have been able to hydoponically produce synthetic Muppet balls. His surgery is scheduled for next week. The Tony Award winning cast of the Broadway musical Avenue Q has offered his life [...]

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Advances in Muppet® Medicine

science

Snuffleupagus fans around the globe were sadden by the news of the well-known wooly pacaderm being diagnosed with testicular cancer. Fortunately, New Zealand scientists have been able to hydoponically produce synthetic Muppet balls. His surgery is scheduled for next week. The Tony Award winning cast of the Broadway musical Avenue Q has offered his life [...]

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Stars are Born In Cold Interstellar Clouds

politics

Universal Ultimate Court Judges ruled unanimously in favor of giving nebulae clouds the right to abort a star in the controversial Roe Nebula vs. Wade Star Cluster. In a similar case, the Court denied the Schiavo Nebula the right to reactivate the Artificial Hydrogen-Fusion Particle Generator in one of their stars, which has sustained the [...]

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Pigeon Funeral Service

science

Some people claim that animals do not have feelings or emotions. With that said, I was surprised to see a group of pigeons mourning the death of an avian comrade. I’m normally apathetic to the plight of the bird nicknamed, “Rat With Wings”. Although, this very somber scene tugged on my heart strings and I [...]

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I Don’t Understand Chemistry

business

Memories are holographic chemicals. Are holograms chemical memories or are chemicals holographic memories?Bleach is a chemical. Bleach is a holographic memory? Curious, I inhaled it and Princess Leia appeared and said, “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi“, then I passed out because of the fumes.

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