science

I Love Aluminum

science

I just watched a commercial showing women seductively inhaling different forms of aluminum (tin foil, fences, a baseball bat, etc ). I guess the makers of AXE deodorant are implying that since their product is housed in an aluminum can that it produces a potent sexual elixir that simulates the pheromones that attract females. At [...]

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I Hate New Year’s Day

people

We are the only animals on the planet that celebrate it. It’s just an arbitrary point in space that we’ve invented. All we do is get drunk every time we go around the Sun. Weeee! (one year lapses) Yaaaay!! (365.25 days later) Happy New Year!!! We are eternally trapped in this boring cycle. Fuck that. [...]

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Baby Balloons Murdered

science

The average lifespan of a Mylar balloon is five to eight days. Two of my five “Get Well Soon” balloons died the night I got them. They either commited suicide or they were murdered by the other balloons. I called NYPD, but they have yet to send any officers by the house. New York’s Finest, [...]

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Hope You’re Not Color Blind

science

Can you the choose the correct rhyme associated with the color scheme of the stripes on the deadly coral snake? A) Red then black Friend of Jack Red then yellow Kill a fellow B) Red then black Surprise attack Red then yellow Extremely mellow C) Black then red You are so fucking dead! Black then [...]

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We Have a Love-Hate Relationship with Oxygen

science

Humans would die without Oxygen. Our brains would cease to operate if we stopped breathing it, our bodies would be devoured by skin cancer if the ozone layer (O3) dissipated , and lets not forget that H2O is the elixir of life. Now if you add one itty bitty oxygen molecule to dihydrogen monoxide (aka…Water) [...]

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