poetry

My Bitchy Girlfriend is a Hemophiliac

poetry

Pale, Anemic Extremely vindictive A pampered princess whose blood that does not clot Nagging, Grating, Whining Very maternal The misery must stop I prepared a meal laden with garlic And a dash of resentment I switched her toothbrush from Soft bristle to hard Unaware of my subterfuge My problem is solved

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I Wish I was Puerto Rican Because I Love to Go Camping

food

I was enlightened with the fact, that mangoes belong to the same family as poison ivy, the Sumac family. Certain cultures have made this fruit a staple in their diet. Puerto Rico became one of those countries. In 1750, the mango was introduced to their island and Puerto Rico embraced it. After two and half [...]

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Any Given Saturday at the Dungeon Master’s House

poetry

Let’s get this party started. Mano y Mano Me against You My THAC0 is low, and your Armor Class is high Get your dice ready, and prepare to die Your lack of creativity appalls me (let me guess a big barbarian with an Austrian accent and a two-handed sword named, Bonan) How original. Roll for [...]

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I’d like to share a poem with you

poetry

My MySpace Experience Who the fuck is that bitch on your Top 8? Who? You know what slut I’m talking about. Who? The one with no clothes on. Oh, that one.

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Paper Versus Plastic

poetry

Credit Cards are clean and sheen A modern way of life Paper Bills are old world Absorbent, Dirty Reeking of human filth The scent of a stripper Crack-fives and coke-frosted Benjamins, straight from Wall Street When I look at a bill, I see a tree that never was! He could of been anything in the [...]

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