people

If this is in your MySpace profile, we aren’t meant to be (Part 2)

people

“I love, love, love Swedish Fish. I don’t like coffee or mushrooms. I once broke my collarbone in a Jeep that rolled. I might try a cigarette if I knew how to smoke. My mom is brilliant and can so out-cook your mom. I have never met my father, but I did see a photograph [...]

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CFS is a Sham!

people

I feel doctors should rename CFS chronic fatigue syndrome n. (Abbr. CFS) A syndrome characterized by debilitating fatigue and a combination of flulike symptoms such as sore throat, swollen lymph glands, low-grade fever, headaches, and muscle pain or weakness. Also called chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome. They should call it CCFS or Convenient Chronic Fatigue [...]

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SAD People are pathetic!

people

I’m so glad it’s hot again. Not because I especially like sweating, I like when it gets warmer because people who claim to be “suffering” from SAD aren’t whining as much. seasonal affective disorder n. (Abbr. SAD) A form of depression occurring at certain seasons of the year, especially when the individual has less exposure [...]

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I Hate New Year’s Day

people

We are the only animals on the planet that celebrate it. It’s just an arbitrary point in space that we’ve invented. All we do is get drunk every time we go around the Sun. Weeee! (one year lapses) Yaaaay!! (365.25 days later) Happy New Year!!! We are eternally trapped in this boring cycle. Fuck that. [...]

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MySpace is video crack for egotist with low self esteem.

favorites

A few things I’ve absorbed from MySpace: The number of “Friends” in a MySpace profile is a direct correlation to the number of hours logged on to the internet and inversely related to that person’s actual social skill. The beacon enlightens me how unproductive we humans have become. When my beacon is on, I feel [...]

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