overheard nyc

Overheard Through My Window in Queens

overheard nyc

I couldn’t sleep last night because of the pain, and was elated to finally fall into slumber at the crack of dawn. Only to be awoken by annoying song birds, a woodpecker drilling another useless hole, a squirrel trying scrape his way through my thru-the-wall air conditioning unit, and little fucking boy hitting a concrete [...]

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Proper Etiquette of Toothpicking Cheese Cubes 101

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I played basketball today and realized I was extremely hungry. I dipped into Gourmet Garage to buy something to eat. I didn’t know what I wanted, so I roamed aimlessly around until I found something. Luckily, The cheese department had five platters of cheese cubes with a cup of toothpicks. Famished, I plucked out a [...]

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Disoriented Tourist

overheard nyc

Whenever, I surface from the subways, and confidently head in one direction on an avenue. Inevitably, someone walking beside will notice my keen navigational skill and will ask me, “Are we going up or down?” I have two responses: 1. “Actually we are going horizontal. Our vertical displacement is zero. What are you stupid?” Then [...]

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Overheard in a Starbucks on Fifth Avenue

overheard nyc

MIDWESTERN MODEL How’s your new agency? Any perks? PERUVIAN MODEL At first they were great, then stupid 9-11 happened. Now I have to fly coach. MIDWESTERN MODEL Yeah, that sucks. I hate terrorists. You’re from Peru right? PERUVIAN MODEL Si. MIDWESTERN MODEL I just watched a show about Conquistadors. They were reeeeallly mean. PERUVIAN MODEL [...]

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Name Dropping versus Name Throwing

overheard nyc

I overheard a conversation: SOME DUMB DUDE I hate schmoozing. I’m no good at it. Man, I wish I was like Eric. That dude is awesome at networking. He’s like real good at name-throwing, if you know what I mean. Name-throwing? What the fuck is that? I’ve heard of name-dropping, but I’ve never heard of [...]

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