Danocrates discusses mathematics

(Hint: 9/11 = Nine divided by eleven)

Perhaps this is why I was virgin until I was 19. Here are some other reasons.

Euclid, Euler, and Pythagoras were just a few of the founding fathers, who laid the foundation for future mathematicians. Cumulatively throughout history, these geniuses and many others have discovered the wonders of mathematics.

Astrophysicists pursue the origin of our universe, biologists keep decoding DNA, chemists are determined to find the perfect compound, but mathematicians have exhausted all avenues of their field and have to invent “numbers” to continue.

Real Numbers, Unreal Numbers, Transcendental Numbers, Imaginary Numbers, Surreal Numbers, Supernatural Number…etc

This trend of contrived innovation will only lead to the death of math as we know it.

Below is a snapshot of the future sets of numbers:

Philosophical Numbers
numbers that are based on a system of philosophy

Anarchistic Numbers
numbers in a constant state of disorder

Mythical Numbers
fictional numbers that exist in myths
Mythical Numbers would be used to determine the mortality rate of unicorns, calculate the weight of the Loch Ness monster or the population of Atlantis

Blithe Numbers
numbers that exist purely for no reason

Satanic Numbers
numbers that conjure demons

Doppelganger Numbers
numbers that pretend to be other numbers
Doppelganger Numbers are also known as Transnumerical Numbers or “Trannys”. You will find these “Tranny” Numbers used by Thai or Brazilian mathematicians.

STD Numbers
numbers that are infected through the commutative process

It was a huge victory for Evangelical Christians at the Iowa Caucus. Their “Christ” has risen in form of a former governor of Arkansas named Mike Huckabee.

It’s interesting that he governed Arkansas because if you dissect the word “Arkansas”, it’s basically “Ark” and “Kansas” merged as one.

Which makes sense because Kansas legislators decided that Darwin’s Theory of Evolution should be optional and the Theory of Intelligent Design(ID) should be also taught and let the students decide.

Feeling more powerful and confident that Middle America is behind him, Huckabee is now campaigning against the actual geometric shape of the Pentagon because it can be inscribed with a Satanic pentacle.

This fiery, five-sided, paganistic polygon has been the official symbol for Satan since the birth of mankind. If they succeed,the Department of Defense will be renamed the Department of Divine Defense and the construction of a new, twelve-sided building called the Dodecagon, fashioned into the shape of a cross, will replace the Satanic star.

“Tuez-les tous; Dieu reconnaitra les siens.”
-Arnaud-Amaury, Abbot of Citeaux,during the Fourth Crusade, outside the fortified city of Beziers in July,1209

Which translates to,“Kill them all; for the Lord knoweth them that are His.”

or

“Kill’em all, let God sort ‘em out!” in Marine talk

UPDATE:

Dark Phoenix on 11.10.07 at 8:32 pm

the five sided star is NOT a satanic symbol! it is an ancient symbol representing female divinity. the satanic star is upside down! please research something before you make comments on it. you really sound like an idiot

So sorry, Dark Phoenix…

I apologize for being off by 40 degrees to the right. Satan forgive me for I have sinned. I am an idiot…oh Dark Phoenix.

PS. How can a Phoenix be dark? A little oxymoronic if you ask me but then again I’m the idiot.

PSS. I love you Dark Phoenix.

PSSS. As an idiot, I love other idiots.

I am a nerd.

I have contacted the U.S. Census and Department of Forestry and have calculated the number of Christmas trees slain since 1830 here in the United States.

After hours of geekish research, I have estimated 2.4 billion Christmas trees have been wiped out.

With the average tree density of a normal forest, that equates to 75,000 square miles (roughly the size of the entire state of South Dakota).

If you assume the mean height is 6 ft. and were to stack the trees end to end, they would go around the Earth 118 times or create 15 columns extending to the Moon
(approximately 186, 000 miles away).

I then asked myself, “Who lives in the forest?”
I know that Winnie the Pooh lives in “The Hundred Acres Wood”. So feasibly, one could deduce that every hundred acres produces one Pooh bear. Since seventy-five thousand square miles have been destroyed, the blood of a half a million Pooh bears rest on the shoulders of the paganistic ritual of Christians.

A Poohicide.

Jesus was a Jew, but he also was an anti-Poohite.

Merry Christmas!

I have discovered a formula explaining the Couch Potato Phenomenon by combining Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and Ohm’s Law.

Ohm’s Law states:
V = IR (Voltage equals Current multiplied by Resistance)
So I = V/R

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity states:
E = mc²
So mE=m²c²

Webster’s dictionary defines “ME” as the objective form of “I“.

So we can say:
If mE=I,

then m=I/E

Mass equals current divided by energy

mass: weight gained (fat)
current: forward movement (exercise)
energy: usable power (food)

Using Fermet’s Law we can manipulate the results to suit our needs to:

The weight gained equals the amount of food consumed divided by the amount of exercise.

Let’s apply the G.U.T. formula:

If Joe Six-Pack decided to consume 2 pints of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream and decided to watch the entire Season 1 of The Office, what would be the total weight gained?

Running time of The Office Season 1:
3 hours

Calories burned watching television:
68 calories per hour

Calories in Chunky Monkey:
2480 calories

The G.U.T. formula predicts Joe will have a higher level of LDL cholesterol and an extremely fat ass.

I’m also working on a formula that proves mimes are losers:
mImE = 0

What exactly is a kWh?
According to Whatis.com, “kWh is a kilowatt-hour which is a unit of energy equivalent to one kilowatt of power expended for one hour of time” or simply power multiplied by time.

How much power is in a kW?
3,600,000 joules

(The equivalent of the amount of energy exerted by 45,000 Tanya Harding henchmen swinging 45,000 bats (80 joules per hitman)†)

What the hell is a joule?
One joule is defined as the amount of energy exerted when a force of one newton is applied over a displacement of one meter.

(One joule is the amount energy required to lift one apple (100 grams) exactly one meter on Earth)

Jesus Christ! What is a newton? Can you eat it?

No silly. One newton is the force required to cause a mass of one kilogram to accelerate at a rate of one meter per second squared. Think back to high school physics. Force equals mass times acceleration. Remember the dude that got hit on the head with the apple. That dude being the asshole who stole the title away from Leibniz as the “inventor of calculus”.

For fuck’s sake, what does this have to do with my electricity bill?
Everything. The utility company only charges seventeen cents a kilowatt-hour.



Not shabby, considering that a lightning strike generates about 250 kWh which would only cost $42.50 or a little less than two and a half hours of the average hourly wage for a U.S. citizen ($17.03).

So now when people rudely ask you how much you make, be vague and tell them you make enough money to make about eight hundred and thirty-three lightning strikes per year††.
(Hint: Your annual salary divided by your $42.50)

†17¢ seems so much cheaper than $450,000,000 ($10,000 per thug)
††This is the best way to be blown by a rocket scientist or a common nerd

It was horrible what happened five years ago on 9-11. People lost their lives and will always be remembered.

But what about me, I still exist. Somehow through this tragic event, I have been deleted from everyone’s mind. Erased. Eradicated. Brainwashed out of Man’s hard drive.

Nine, eleven…nine, eleven…nine, eleven

Anything missing?

What happened to “ten”!

I use to be a “somebody”. The world revolved around me.

The Ten Commandments, “She’s a perfect ten”, “Hang ten”, “ten little indians”…for Christ’s sake the majority of Earth’s civilizations use a base-10 numbering system.

Now I feel invisible. A shadow. I know what Ashlee Simpson feels like at Thanksgiving, or Tito at Christmas. What have I done to deserve this? Am I not easily divisible? Do I not make multiplying a simple task? What the fuck more do you want from me?

I could understand if I was irrational or a transcendental number. They’re enigmas.

Who knows their purpose? I don’t.

I ran with that pack in college.

π, Φ the Golden Ratio, e the base of the Natural Log…they were all deadbeats out of they’re minds.

π was always tripping on acid and trying to convince me he was from outer space and that he helped everyone from the Egyptians build the pyramids to the Mayan temples. Give me a break.

The Golden Ratio was under the impression that he was the divine Renaissance number created by God himself. Φ was one self-righteous, ecclesiastical mother fucker.

The base of the Natural Log e seemed normal, until you started to talk about money. Compound this, compound that…he would get this diabolical look in his eye when you mentioned interest rates. He’d sell his mother’s lung if he could profit from it.

I’m a rational number. A whole number.

God damn you all!

It’s nine,

eleven!

I bought an “Unlimited” Monthly MetroCard for only $70. What a fucking steal! An infinite amount of rides would reduce the normal $2 fare down to less than a trillionth of a penny. Idiots! I would be able to go any where…at anytime.

The deception was revealed, when I mistakenly entered a DOWNTOWN entrance and had to exit and go across the street to the UPTOWN. I was denied access, and the turnstile read: “JUST USED.”

Surely, a mistake—I informed the subway station booth agent that there was a system error. I told the agent that my “Unlimited” MetroCard was defected, and I needed another one. She said that there wasn’t anything wrong with the card, and I just needed to wait 18 minutes.

Horseshit! They can not limit my “Unlimited” card!!

MTA propagandists are mathematical wizards with a diabolical advertising campaign. Millions of New Yorkers are swindled everyday because they can not see though the promotional trickery.

It’s not an “Unlimited”, it’s only 2400 rides. (43,200 minutes in a month divided by 18)

Do they think we are fucking morons? Which number is bigger 2400 or INFINITE?Hmmm….That’s 3 cents a ride.

That is 3 trillion more than I expected, not acceptable.

Everyone should write a letter to the MTA officials in Brooklyn and demand the masquerade stop.

They should be straight with us; $70 will buy you a “Limited” 2400 Ride Card.

Case closed.

M
mass (m)

A
acceleration (a)

S
displacement/distance (s)

H
height (h)

If Newton’s Second Law states: Force equals mass times acceleration (F=ma),

then
m × a = Force

Displacement and height are lengths. If you multiply two lengths together, you would create a surface area.

s × h = Surface Area
So,

(m × a)(s × h) = Force × Surface area

Force × Surface Area = Pressure

pres·sure
n.
Force applied uniformly over a surface, measured as force per unit of area.

mash
n.
A crushing or grinding

Tasmanian devils have 300 pounds per square inch of bite.

I must remind readers that I was a virgin until I was 21

It was horrible what happened 4 years ago on 9-11. People lost their lives and will always be remembered.

But what about me, I still exist. Somehow through this tragic event, I have been deleted from everyone’s mind. Erased. Eradicated. Brainwashed out of Man’s hard drive.

Nine, eleven…nine, eleven…nine, eleven

Anything missing?

What happened to “ten”!

I use to be a “somebody”. The world revolved around me.

The Ten Commandments, “She’s a perfect ten”, “Hang ten”, “ten little indians”…for Christ’s sake the majority of Earth’s civilizations use a base-10 numbering system.

Now I feel invisible. A shadow. I know what Ashlee Simpson feels like at Thanksgiving, or Tito at Christmas. What have I done to deserve this? Am I not easily divisible? Do I not make multiplying a simple task? What the fuck more do you want from me?

I could understand if I was irrational or a transcendental number. They’re enigmas.

Who knows their purpose? I don’t.

I ran with that pack in college.

π, Φ the Golden Ratio, e the Natural Number…they were all deadbeats out of they’re minds.

π was always tripping on acid and trying to convince me he was from outer space and that he helped everyone from the Egyptians build the pyramids to the Mayan temples. Give me a break.

The Golden Ratio was under the impression that he was the divine Renaissance number created by God himself. Φ was one self-righteous, ecclesiastical mother fucker.

The Natural Number e seemed normal, until you started to talk about money. Compound this, compound that…he would get this diabolical look in his eye when you mentioned interest rates. He’d sell his mother’s lung if he could profit from it.

I’m a rational number. A whole number.
God damn you all, it’s nine, TEN, eleven!