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danisms

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a principal philosophy and system of religion of Astoria, Queens based upon the teachings of a guy named Danocrates Allenopolos in the 21st century.
Never eat cotton candy in the rain.
My battery charger is a necromancer.
Do healthy vampires prey on vegans?
An annoying German designer is called a deutschbag.
Spanish dictionaries should be called Mexicons.
I’m writing a biography [...]

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Bedroom in a Beautiful 5 Bedroom Townhouse-CHELSEA

himself

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I do not condone the misuse of the wonderful online community (which sounds like “gregslist.com“) established in San Francisco. However, this was a fun exercise in the world of make-believe. A tall, lanky, “friend” posted this on the aforementioned “gregslist“, and below are the actual responses.
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Rent: $1350
Looking for a Male or Female
No Pets
No Drugs (unless [...]

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Leonard Nimoy Loves Hobbits

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Shitstorm of Intolerance (VIDEO)

himself

If John Hagee was a meteorologist, he would call it a Scategory 5 storm.

Lizz Winstead and the Shoot The Messenger crew invited me to be apart of this yesterday. It was good times. Best Easter I have had in awhile. Who wouldn’t love Lizz’s ham, great people and beer.
Check out all their videos at: [...]

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TaoOfDan.com with Bacon

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Click here

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The Moon Diet

himself

My friend Ben is extremely overweight—over 400 pounds. He’s always on some ridiculous diet to shed his excess fat. Right now he’s only eating apples and canned tuna fish.

I told him if he really wanted to reduce his “weight” just wait until the Moon was directly overhead and he would “weigh” less because the gravitational [...]

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