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The “Hunt”

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I realized that I’ve actually never engaged in the actual pursuit of a woman. My last girlfriend was pre-arranged. My best friend was dating her best friend. They eliminated all the normal guesswork that is usually involved with the initial “let’s get to know each other before we have sex” ritual. We were briefed with [...]

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Four Questions of Pesach (Passover)

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Ultra-Orthodox Jew Orthodox Jew Mah nishtanah ha-lahylah ha-zeh mi-kol ha-layloht, mi-kol ha-layloht? 1.) She-b’khol ha-layloht anu okhlin chameytz u-matzah, chameytz u-matzah. Ha-lahylah ha-zeh, ha-lahylah ha-zeh, kooloh matzah? 2.) She-b’khol ha-layloht anu okhlin sh’ar y’rakot, sh’ar y’rakot. Ha-lahylah ha-zeh, ha-lahylah ha-zeh, maror? 3.) She-b’khol ha-layloht ayn anu mat’bilin afilu pa’am echat, afilu pa’am echat. Ha-lahylah ha-zeh, [...]

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Proper Etiquette of Toothpicking Cheese Cubes 101

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I played basketball today and realized I was extremely hungry. I dipped into Gourmet Garage to buy something to eat. I didn’t know what I wanted, so I roamed aimlessly around until I found something. Luckily, The cheese department had five platters of cheese cubes with a cup of toothpicks. Famished, I plucked out a [...]

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Racist Signs

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I Have a Cure for World Hunger

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Pillows! I grew up poor and learned the best way to curb my appetite as a kid was going to bed early. The growling of my stomach was a little annoying at first, but I’d just wrap my head with my pillow and get some sleepy sleep. What would you rather have? A bowl of [...]

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