Danocrates discusses entertainment

ver·bal bu·kka·ke [vur-buhl boo-ka-kay]:

Verbal bukkake is a group practice that features a person (usually drunk) being verbally abused on by multiple people (usually comedians, cops or drill sergeants).

Example:
The annoying drunk girl in the front row refused to shut-up so the remaining comics were forced to deliver a verbal bukkake upon her.

Origin:
[ July 2007; Pianos Bar, LES, NYC The Whitest Kids U Know Show]

Slang:
ver·bu·kka·ke [vur-boo-ka-kay]

(Seems to be the most popular font of bad movies)

When you Google the word “Paris”, the results are an astounding 533,000,000 pages relating to La Ville-lumière or if you are an unwashed, Bush-loving, war-mongering American, “The City of Lights“.

Well almost…it appears the 6,200 year old city is barely beating out the infamous slutebrity heiress Paris Hilton. She’s the the eleventh hit on the “Web” search but she has unbelievably pushed her way to the number two spot on the “Image” search.

Heed my warning: The canary may have not died in her cage but our soulless, narcissistic, gluttonous, meaningless-media-crazed empire is crumbling. Paris Hilton is the catalyst for an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine that will result in the decimation of human life as we know.

Future historians (if there are any) will compare 21st century’s fascination with Paris Hilton with the 1914 assassination of the Archduke Francis Fernidad which was the spark that ignited WWI.

You heard it from TaoOfDan.com: This is the beginning of the end.

I have no idea why I was forced to listen to this song this weekend but my ears were raped by these twisted lyrics sung by Kenny Rogers.

Everyone considered him the coward of the county.
He’d never stood one single time to prove the county wrong.
His mama named him Tommy, the folks just called him Yellow,
But something always told me they were readin’ Tommy wrong.

He was only ten years old when his daddy died in prison.
I looked after Tommy cause he was my brothers son.
I still recall the final words my brother said to Tommy:
Son, my life is over, but yours is just begun.

Promise me, son, not to do the things I’ve done.
Walk away from trouble if you can.
It won’t mean you’re weak if you turn the other cheek.
I hope youre old enough to understand:
Son, you don’t have to fight to be a man.

There’s someone for everyone and Tommy’s love was Becky.
In her arms he didn’t have to prove he was a man.
One day while he was workin the Gatlin boys came callin’.
They took turns at Becky…. there was three of them!

Tommy opened up the door and saw his Becky cryin’.
The torn dress, the shattered look was more than he could stand.
He reached above the fireplace and took down his Daddy’s picture.
As his tears fell on his Daddy’s face, he heard these words again:

Promise me, son, not to do the things I’ve done.
Walk away from trouble if you can.
It won’t mean you’re weak if you turn the other cheek.
I hope youre old enough to understand:
Son, you don’t have to fight to be a man.

The Gatlin boys just laughed at him when he walked into the barroom.
One of them got up and met him halfway cross the floor.
When tommy turned around they said, “Hey look! Ole Yellows leavin’.”
But you coulda heard a pin drop when Tommy stopped and blocked the door.

Twenty years of crawlin’ was bottled up inside him.
He wasn’t holdin’ nothin’ back; he let em have it all.
When Tommy left the barroom not a Gatlin boy was standin.
He said, this ones for Becky, as he watched the last one fall.
And I heard him say,

“I promised you, dad, not to do the things you done.
I walk away from trouble when I can.
Now please dont think I’m weak, I didn’t turn the other cheek,
And Papa, I sure hope you understand:
Sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man.

Everyone considered him the coward of the county.

Someone had the bright idea to make this song into a movie. Here’s a direct quote from imdb.com, “Plot Outline: A life-long yellow-belly who made a deathbed promise to his father to be a pacifist seeks bloody revenge on the men who gang raped his wife.”

Nothing like an uplifting “gang-rape” song. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the moral of the story.

What the fuck is Kenny Rogers trying to tell us?

If anyone does have an answer, please leave a comment.

Don Imus

An advertisement on MySpace

Oh yeah, I forgot. Our snarky society sucks.

“Lets Switch Cars” by The Rob and Mark Show directed by
the lovely Sara Schaefer

Found by Karey Dornetto

Stumbled upon by Todd Levin via Adam Felber

Another gem found by Karey Dornetto

Classic video found by Jesse Joyce and Andre DuBouchet

Here’s a lovely comment left on this post about Flavor of Love’s Deelishis:

renee // Oct 16th 2006 at 7:00 am

what the hell is funny about that? it would take a stupid white bastard to say some !@$$%$ like that.

PETA’s president, Ingrid Newkirk once stated, “When it comes to feelings such as pain, fear, hunger, and thirst, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy.”

In her eyes, we are all the same.

Yet, their name is PETA which stands for:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Why do they differentiate between people and animal?

Aren’t animals and people equal?

You don’t hear civil right groups stating Whites for the Ethical Treatment of Coloreds and Miscellaneous People.

It should be Animals for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

I understand why they don’t want to change their name because they would have to pronounce it Aye-EE-ta.

This could easily be confused with the Broadway musical Aida.

If they were smart, they would pair up with Disney and produce their own musical about a cow who falls in love with her owner.

Set in the outskirts of Chicago, Aeta is the exciting and passionate tale of a Moobian princess who falls in love with her owner, Farmer John. Aeta becomes the personal pet of Polly, the daughter of a meat packing mogul, who also is enamored by Farmer John. Aeta tells the tale of a story of love, devotion and betrayal spanning lifetimes.