Originally posted 2007-07-18 08:05:52. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
entertainment
28
Feb 10
Why does Deelishis (aka…London Charles) have scars on her back?
Flavor of Love’s “Deelishis” claims the marks on her back came from an “accident”.
I believe the episode below explains everything.
Unfortunately, YouTube yanked this Good Times clip. It was the episode about Penny (Janet Jackson) getting burned by her mother with an iron. The new and improve YouTube is going to suck if they keep censoring like this.
Someone should contact Social Services and report Mr. and Mrs. Charles. Obviously, “New York” has been mentally abused, but at least her crazy-ass mother hasn’t physically scarred her.
Originally posted 2006-10-02 13:08:59. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
7
Feb 10
Whatcha talking about Willis?
I guess a 99 point something APR is a deal when you are a former child star.
Originally posted 2007-07-13 16:07:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
23
Jan 10
Email to Comedy Central in my defense
From: Dan Allen
Sent: Thursday, September 09, 2004 2:54 PM
To: legaldepartmentthatisscaredofgettingsued@yahoo.com
Subject: Coolio vs. Me
I am a copyright law neophyte, but I really would like to incorporate the phrase, “Ain’t no party like a Mercury Party, cuz a Mercury Party don’t stop…” into my Premium Blend set.
It is a parody of the song – Coolio’s 1-2-3-4 Sumpin’
Listed below are two similar cases, in which, the verdict was ruled in favor of the defendant.
1.) Roy Orbison vs 2 Live Crew
2 Live Crew, the rap group, did a parody of the Roy Orbison song, Pretty Woman, in their own extremely inimitable fashion. (Example: Big hairy woman, you need to shave that stuff) The resulting lawsuit got all the way to the Supreme Court, which came out with a landmark decision in favor of 2 Live Crew
2.) The City of New York vs SNL
“In its entirety, the original song “I Love New York” is composed of a 45 word lyric and 100 measures. Of this only four notes, D C D E (in that sequence), and the words “I Love” were taken and used in the SNL sketch (although they were repeated 3 or 4 times). As a result, the defendant now argues that the use it made was insufficient to constitute copyright infringement.
This Court does not agree. Although it is clear that, on its face, the taking involved in this action is relatively slight, on closer examination it becomes apparent that this portion of the piece, the musical phrase that the lyrics “I Love New York” accompany, is the heart of the composition. Use of such a significant (albeit less than extensive) portion of the composition is far more than merely a De minirnis taking.”
Blah…blah…blah…it goes on for days
Verdict:
Basing its decision on undisputed facts presented by the parties, as well as on a videotaped viewing of the television sketch containing the alleged infringement, the Court finds that the defendant’s use of the plaintiff’s jingle in the SNL sketch was a fair use, and that as a result no copyright violation occurred. Accordingly, the plaintiff’s motion for summary judgment is denied, and the defendant’s motion for surname judgment is granted. Tills action is hereby dismissed.
Source website: Click here
Final Verdict from Comedy Central:
They politely told me to, “Ixnay on the artypay.” The more I researched the phrase, the lamer it became
Originally posted 2004-09-09 18:00:21. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
20
Jan 10
You can’t tell a book by its cover, but you can tell a movie by its font
(Seems to be the most popular font of bad movies)
Originally posted 2007-07-06 08:56:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
19
Jan 10
Check this video out by my buddies Rob and Mark
“Lets Switch Cars” by The Rob and Mark Show directed by
the lovely Sara Schaefer
Originally posted 2007-01-11 13:06:30. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
17
Jan 10
Transamerica
I was asked to blog in the voice of Bill O’ Reilly.
Here’s my 6/4/07 entry:
I couldn’t stop thinking about AC last night. She consumes my thoughts. Imagining her whispering right-wing rhetoric into my ear at night makes my body quiver like a little Asian schoolgirl. As a teenager I use to watch the The Addam’s Family and would get an erection anytime Morticia would speak French into Gomez’s ear.
“When I first saw you from afar, My heart flamed with fierce passion. And when you spoke French, ooh-la-la!…”
Except, I would puke if she spoke in the guttural, non-coherent, amphibious language of freedom-haters. Not to mention AC’s spectacular boobs arouse me more than any FOX intern I’ve ever met or hired. Not that I would ever suggest that I would hire a person solely on the size of their mammary glands (but it always helps ☺).
After Googling her for hours and drinking a Viagra cocktail and listening to my favorite Kenny Rogers CD, I felt weird and a little stalker-ey. You know Mark Foley-ish but with a woman not a page (although I’m sure that some liberal made him do it. Read here).
My eyes ached, my lower back was killing me and I felt my mouse finger cramping up so I decided to go to bed. However, AC is my crack. I needed one more hit. So as I began my ritual of clearing my history trail so my wife wouldn’t know what I was trolling the Web, I was unable to control my fingers as they typed “A** C****** sexy” into the search box. I was shocked and confused when one of the results was titled, “C****** Comes Out as Transvestite Trickster”.
The reason I was “shocked and confused” was because my state of arousal heightened, my face became flush and my heart raced. It all made sense. I never could understand how a woman could be able to produce such wonderful ideas and be my equal in the war against liberal faggots.
I passed out on the couch in my study and dreamed that we made sweet love. I’ll let you guess who was the top and who was the bottom.
(Hint: Jack was my favorite character)
Originally posted 2007-11-08 12:45:14. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
1
Jan 10
France’s Capital is in Danger (Google-wise)
When you Google the word “Paris”, the results are an astounding 533,000,000 pages relating to La Ville-lumière or if you are an unwashed, Bush-loving, war-mongering American, “The City of Lights“.
Well almost…it appears the 6,200 year old city is barely beating out the infamous slutebrity heiress Paris Hilton. She’s the the eleventh hit on the “Web” search but she has unbelievably pushed her way to the number two spot on the “Image” search.
Heed my warning: The canary may have not died in her cage but our soulless, narcissistic, gluttonous, meaningless-media-crazed empire is crumbling. Paris Hilton is the catalyst for an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine that will result in the decimation of human life as we know.
Future historians (if there are any) will compare 21st century’s fascination with Paris Hilton with the 1914 assassination of the Archduke Francis Fernidad which was the spark that ignited WWI.
You heard it from TaoOfDan.com: This is the beginning of the end.
Originally posted 2007-07-01 22:31:48. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
30
Dec 09
The Most Morbid Song I’ve Ever Heard
I have no idea why I was forced to listen to this song this weekend but my ears were raped by these twisted lyrics sung by Kenny Rogers.
Everyone considered him the coward of the county.
He’d never stood one single time to prove the county wrong.
His mama named him Tommy, the folks just called him Yellow,
But something always told me they were readin’ Tommy wrong.He was only ten years old when his daddy died in prison.
I looked after Tommy cause he was my brothers son.
I still recall the final words my brother said to Tommy:
Son, my life is over, but yours is just begun.Promise me, son, not to do the things I’ve done.
Walk away from trouble if you can.
It won’t mean you’re weak if you turn the other cheek.
I hope youre old enough to understand:
Son, you don’t have to fight to be a man.There’s someone for everyone and Tommy’s love was Becky.
In her arms he didn’t have to prove he was a man.
One day while he was workin the Gatlin boys came callin’.
They took turns at Becky…. there was three of them!Tommy opened up the door and saw his Becky cryin’.
The torn dress, the shattered look was more than he could stand.
He reached above the fireplace and took down his Daddy’s picture.
As his tears fell on his Daddy’s face, he heard these words again:Promise me, son, not to do the things I’ve done.
Walk away from trouble if you can.
It won’t mean you’re weak if you turn the other cheek.
I hope youre old enough to understand:
Son, you don’t have to fight to be a man.The Gatlin boys just laughed at him when he walked into the barroom.
One of them got up and met him halfway cross the floor.
When tommy turned around they said, “Hey look! Ole Yellows leavin’.”
But you coulda heard a pin drop when Tommy stopped and blocked the door.Twenty years of crawlin’ was bottled up inside him.
He wasn’t holdin’ nothin’ back; he let em have it all.
When Tommy left the barroom not a Gatlin boy was standin.
He said, this ones for Becky, as he watched the last one fall.
And I heard him say,“I promised you, dad, not to do the things you done.
I walk away from trouble when I can.
Now please dont think I’m weak, I didn’t turn the other cheek,
And Papa, I sure hope you understand:
Sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man.Everyone considered him the coward of the county.
Someone had the bright idea to make this song into a movie. Here’s a direct quote from imdb.com, “Plot Outline: A life-long yellow-belly who made a deathbed promise to his father to be a pacifist seeks bloody revenge on the men who gang raped his wife.”
Nothing like an uplifting “gang-rape” song. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the moral of the story.
What the fuck is Kenny Rogers trying to tell us?
If anyone does have an answer, please leave a comment.
Originally posted 2007-05-28 14:46:28. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
25
Dec 09
I Think My Inner Child is Nelson from The Simpsons
Found by Karey Dornetto
Stumbled upon by Todd Levin via Adam Felber
Another gem found by Karey Dornetto
Classic video found by Jesse Joyce and Andre DuBouchet
Originally posted 2006-12-19 13:41:58. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
20
Dec 09
Advances in Muppet® Medicine
Snuffleupagus fans around the globe were sadden by the news of the well-known wooly pacaderm being diagnosed with testicular cancer.
Fortunately, New Zealand scientists have been able to hydoponically produce synthetic Muppet balls. His surgery is scheduled for next week.
The Tony Award winning cast of the Broadway musical Avenue Q has offered his life partner Big Bird a benefit show to pay for the procedure. Click here for tickets.
Originally posted 2005-08-12 00:31:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
18
Dec 09
Riker’s Island should produce more musicals
Watch 1,500 inmates from a prison in the Philippines perform Thriller:
Originally posted 2007-07-20 14:29:17. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
