Originally posted 2006-03-15 23:08:26. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
danisms
14
Feb 10
My Watch is Special
I get offended when people tell me my watch is slow. I like to think of it as chronologically challenged.~Danocrates Allenopolos
I also get offended when people use the word fucktard, not very PC. I like to say mentally fucked.~Danocrates Allenopolos
Originally posted 2006-08-20 18:56:34. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
1
Feb 10
More words from Danocrates Allenopolos
“When I chew on a piece of Dentyne Ice Arctic Chill, I feel like a polar bear crapped in my mouth.”~Danocrates
Originally posted 2006-08-03 19:10:38. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
28
Jan 10
I’m writing a biography about Kevin Bacon in the sixth person.
It’s about a busboy named Enrique who is blown by a waitress whose father is a chiropractor of a women who just bought an autographed DVD of Footloose off of eBay™ from a guy in Phoenix who was actually blown by Kevin Bacon.
Originally posted 2005-09-21 08:16:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
21
Jan 10
My battery charger is a necromancer.
Originally posted 2005-05-08 13:27:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
4
Jan 10
I never eat cotton candy in the rain.
Originally posted 2005-04-30 16:19:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
27
Dec 09
Is the word “leotard” offensive?
le·o·tard [lee-uh-tahrd]
–noun
1.
a skintight, one-piece garment for the torso, having a high or low neck, long or short sleeves, and a lower portion resembling either briefs or tights, worn by acrobats, dancers, etc.
Slang: Disparaging
a. a Spandex-ally leotarded outfit.
b. a dumb lion
c. a costume that is stupid, obtuse, or ruined by a Bedazzeler in some way:
a hopeless social leotard.
[Origin: 1915–20; named after Jules Léotard, 19th-century mildly, retarded French aerialist]
Other questionable words:
tike
tycoon
Originally posted 2007-04-20 15:38:09. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
24
Dec 09
Is it appropriate to call a Jewish baby a tike?
I extend that to a baby adopted by a lesbian couple as well.
Originally posted 2006-05-30 09:28:27. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
23
Dec 09
If Luke never found out that Leia was his twin sister, would their child have had “special” abilities?
Originally posted 2005-05-13 10:17:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
17
Dec 09
If pediatricians are doctors who treat children and pedophiles are adults who are attracted to children…
…then pedestrians are people who ride children.
Furthermore, if octopus means “eight-legged” and Oedipus means “swollen foot” shouldn’t an iPod be called an iPus.
Originally posted 2005-04-30 16:17:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
15
Dec 09
If a person who balloons is called a balloonist and a person who bicycles is called a bicyclist…
…shouldn’t a person who races be called a bigot*.
*I guess that makes sense because most people I know who are NASCAR fans are racists.
Originally posted 2005-05-12 19:23:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
9
Dec 09
If dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire…
then masturbating is a pathetic expression of dancing alone.
Dirty Dancing illustrates this point perfectly when Johnny teaches Baby how to “dance”.
Although, I’m not sure what Footloose was trying to convey when Kevin Bacon taught Chris Penn† how to “dance”. Perhaps ole Footloose was a ahead of its time in rural gay relationship movies.
† Thanks Ann
Originally posted 2006-06-01 23:02:09. Republished by Old Post Promoter.
