danisms

Is it in bad taste to send balloons to a funeral?

danisms

I’m assuming black ones or perhaps chocolates in a coffin-shaped box.

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My Watch is Special

danisms

I get offended when people tell me my watch is slow. I like to think of it as chronologically challenged.~Danocrates Allenopolos I also get offended when people use the word fucktard, not very PC. I like to say mentally fucked.~Danocrates Allenopolos

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My battery charger is a necromancer.

danisms
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If pediatricians are doctors who treat children and pedophiles are adults who are attracted to children…

danisms

…then pedestrians are people who ride children. Furthermore, if octopus means “eight-legged” and Oedipus means “swollen foot” shouldn’t an iPod be called an iPus.

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The Phrase “Flame Retardant” is a Little Harsh

danisms

I like to say, “My pet ant is a homosexual with a learning disablity”.

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