business

Do Trojans Defend?

business

I’m confused why a company would choose the Trojans as their symbol. I’ve tried to create a logical analogy between modern condoms and the ancient battle between the Greeks and the Trojans: The Greeks embodied a man and the Trojans personified a woman, the wooden exterior of the horse would have symbolized a condom, the [...]

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Ben & Jerry’s™ Chunky Monkey©: Good or Evil?

business

Two of my many Orthorexic dietary restrictions are: limit my dairy and saturated fat intake. Unfortunately, my unnatural, affinity for Ben & Jerry’s™ Chunky Monkey© ice cream makes those rules obsolete as the enforcement of the law forbidding jaywalking. How do I justify my addiction? The Ben & Jerry’s™ corporation is an environmentally conscience company [...]

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The future of network comedy in this litigious, corporate world

business

Sample joke with specificity: I walked into a Food Lion® and bought a box of Marlboro Lights®, and the cashier asked for my driver’s license. She wanted to make sure I was eighteen. The government feels that’s the age, in which, you have the correct mental capacity to wisely decide if you want cancer. After [...]

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Email to Comedy Central in my defense

business

From: Dan Allen Sent: Thursday, September 09, 2004 2:54 PM To: legaldepartmentthatisscaredofgettingsued@yahoo.com Subject: Coolio vs. Me I am a copyright law neophyte, but I really would like to incorporate the phrase, “Ain’t no party like a Mercury Party, cuz a Mercury Party don’t stop…” into my Premium Blend set. It is a parody of the [...]

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The Internet is Always Right

business

I was driving my buddies back to Queens from Manhattan one night and we passed by KFC and it reminded me of something I read about why Kentucky Fried Chicken changed its name to KFC. I vaugely remembered reading that the Commonwealth of Kentucky was in such a state of financial ruins that it trademarked [...]

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