business

Ben & Jerry’s™ Chunky Monkey©: Good or Evil?

business

Two of my many Orthorexic dietary restrictions are: limit my dairy and saturated fat intake. Unfortunately, my unnatural, affinity for Ben & Jerry’s™ Chunky Monkey© ice cream makes those rules obsolete as the enforcement of the law forbidding jaywalking. How do I justify my addiction? The Ben & Jerry’s™ corporation is an environmentally conscience company [...]

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Friendly’s® Happy Ending Sundae

business

When I was in Virginia, I drove by a Friendly’s® restaurant and noticed that the marquee claimed, “Free Happy Ending Sundae with Every Entree”. My Uncle Ed was in the Marines and had told me as a teenager that happy endings was code word for oral pleasure at a massage parlor. The temptation was too [...]

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Sprint and Nextel Merged

business

I read in the NY Times that Sprint® and Nextel® have merged into one company worth 71 billion dollars. I can’t think of two shittier wireless services.Nextel® + Sprint® = Shit² Next week we are going to read that Pabst Blue Ribbon® is combining with Old Natural Light® to produce the perfect brew. SATISFIED COUNTRY [...]

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Camel Winter MochaMint

business

Disclaimer: An old post but some delightful young lady left a scathing comment. Enjoy! They also have Chocolate Toffee: a taste of sweet indulgence. R.J. Reynold isn’t even trying to be subtle with their marketing tactics towards children and people with bad eating habits. Logically, they should merge with companies designed to seduce kids at [...]

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I Don’t Understand Chemistry

business

Memories are holographic chemicals. Are holograms chemical memories or are chemicals holographic memories?Bleach is a chemical. Bleach is a holographic memory? Curious, I inhaled it and Princess Leia appeared and said, “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi“, then I passed out because of the fumes.

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