The Eternal Headache of a Scornful Vegan

by Dan Allen on August 21, 2010

in poetry

I am a vegan

Pure, Organic
Meek, Malnourished

chickpeas.jpg
Chickpeas are my meat pellets

tofu.jpg

Tofu is my life

The art of vegetarianism is pacifism between furry organisms

grandslam.jpg
A Denny’s Grand Slam is a dinner of Death!

Two slices of pig skin, a couple chicken fetuses

Sunny-side up and side of toast…please



A carton of eggs is not what I see

Twelve homemade coffins for under two bucks
Coffins.jpg

Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O…and on this farm he had a chicken…

…but that doesn’t matter anymore, because an Egg McMuffin is much more important than a chicken well versed in Euclidean geometry. The poultry populous is eternally damned .

Mortally assassinated.
Painfully annihilated.
Pathetically depopulated.

Kill the chicken…kill…kill the chicken!

eat_more_chicken.jpg

But I digress

I must confess

My body yearns for bacon

My head is throbbing

I must give in

To my paganistic, carnivorous desire of flesh

Give me some bacon and let the pig bleed!

Previous post:

Next post: