Whenever, I surface from the subways, and confidently head in one direction on an avenue. Inevitably, someone walking beside will notice my keen navigational skill and will ask me,
“Are we going up or down?”
I have two responses*:
1.
“Actually we are going horizontal. Our vertical displacement is zero. What are you stupid?”
Then I glare at the person angrily, shake my head, and storm off.
2.
“I don’t know—I’m agnostic, I guess it depends how you’ve lived your life and what you believe in”.
Then I slowly look up and stare at the sky until it gets awkward.
*Unless she’s really hot, then I cut the corny shenanigans.
