June 2010

Overheard in a Starbucks on Fifth Avenue

overheard nyc

MIDWESTERN MODEL How’s your new agency? Any perks? PERUVIAN MODEL At first they were great, then stupid 9-11 happened. Now I have to fly coach. MIDWESTERN MODEL Yeah, that sucks. I hate terrorists. You’re from Peru right? PERUVIAN MODEL Si. MIDWESTERN MODEL I just watched a show about Conquistadors. They were reeeeallly mean. PERUVIAN MODEL [...]

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If Luke never found out that Leia was his twin sister, would their child have had “special” abilities?

sci-fi

There was a lot of sexual tension between Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia when they first met. It’s a good thing Yoda told Luke that Leia was his fraternal twin sister before he had died. Who could imagine the birth defects of child produced by two Jedi twins. One year after Emperor Palpatine’s death (1 [...]

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“A maggot who seeks to know himself would never become a housefly.” ~Danocrates Allenolopos

danisms

Danocrates feels that butterflies are overrated. If scrutinized, a caterpiller is just a maggot with a fur coat and a butterfly is just a common housefly with pretty wings. A caterpillar who seeks to know himself would never become a butterfly. ~Andre Gide quotes (French writer, humanist and moralist, 1947 nobel prize for literature, 1869-1951)

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Earthlings (specifically Americans) Are Spoiled

favorites

Raised as fat, capitalistic pigs with intrinsic senses of entitlement, we forget that our problems are insignificant when compared to other citizens of this planet. I was at LaGuardia Airport last week during the blackout and overheard a hysterical woman speaking to a reporter amongst crying babies and other stranded passengers tearfully cry out, “It’s [...]

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My Girlfriend is Hungarian and Egyptian

sexuality

Occasionally, I let her borrow my Old Spice deodorant which is pH balanced for a man. When she comes back from the gym after a long run, somehow her ancestral, Middle-Eastern/European perspiration overpowers it. I believe she has the pH balance of an ogre.

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