March 2010

My Favorite Cartoon from 1950

entertainment

My favorite line happens two and half minutes in: “No…not “Happy Birthday”! No, not that! Please! No! NOT “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”!!!!” Perhaps, this is why I’m not well. I still haven’t figured out why the cartoon is titled It’s Hummer Time. Any ideas?

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Towel of Terror

stories

In 1992, I was drained. Why? I was nineteen and carried a full course load of freshman engineering classes at Texas A&M, worked a full-time job as an assistant manager at 7-11™, served the Air Force Reserves as an Air Transportation Specialist in San Antonio, and donated plasma every week for extra cash. Sometimes I [...]

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I Drive Women to Bulimia

international

My girlfriend told me, “It’s men like you that drive women to Bulimia.” “That’s ridiculous!” I said, “I don’t even know where Bulimia is.” I Mapquest-ed it and found out it’s actually a small country right next to Hungary and Low-self-esteemia. I could fly a woman to Eastern Europe but couldn’t I drive a woman [...]

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ANY GIVEN SATURDAY AT THE Dungeon Master’s HOUSE

poetry

Let’s get this party started. Mano y Mano Me against You My THAC0 is low, and your Armor Class is high Get your dice ready, and prepare to die Your lack of creativity appalls me (let me guess a big barbarian with an Austrian accent and a two-handed sword named, Bonan) How original. Roll for [...]

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