February 2010

What a great fucking day!

stories

I was leaving Flatbush, Brooklyn about to get on the Belt Parkway going towards JFK, and suddenly my temperature gauge looked like a speedometer in a drag race. It went from cold to hot in a nanosecond, and then without warning steam billowed out from the hood like a volcano about to erupt.In a normal [...]

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Stars are Born In Cold Interstellar Clouds

politics

Universal Ultimate Court Judges ruled unanimously in favor of giving nebulae clouds the right to abort a star in the controversial Roe Nebula vs. Wade Star Cluster. In a similar case, the Court denied the Schiavo Nebula the right to reactivate the Artificial Hydrogen-Fusion Particle Generator in one of their stars, which has sustained the [...]

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My Policy of Respecting Elders is Fucked Up

local

So I’ve been seeing this girl in Hoboken (which I have stated before feels like Germany since I live in Queens). When I say “seeing”, I don’t mean dating. We have agreed to introduce each other as, “this is the person who I see on a repetitive basis.” One night last week, I thought it [...]

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Surge of Violins in Baghdad

international

More and more Iraqi insurgents are becoming violin makers. Flooding the market with millions of mass-produced yet exquisite instruments. The Iraqi “Stradivarius” has become the “Model-T” of Baghdad. The world observes helplessly as these finely-crafted, musical masterpieces are being forced upon the unsuspecting cilvilians. When will the violins stop!

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Do cucumber farmers eventually become gay?

food
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