People occassionally ask me if my Jewish girlfriend is Ashkenazic or Sephardic.

Fortunately, she’s Sephardic because I have trouble pronouncing Ashkenazic.

Someone told me the easiest way to remember how to pronounce is by saying, ‘Ask-a-Nazi’

Fuck that guy!

I’d rather mispronounce it.

MySpace is video crack for egotist with low self esteem.

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A few things I’ve absorbed from MySpace: The number of “Friends” in a MySpace profile is a direct correlation to the number of hours logged on to the internet and inversely related to that person’s actual social skill. The beacon enlightens me how unproductive we humans have become. When my beacon is on, I feel [...]

If Leia and Luke had a Child

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One year after Emperor Palpatine’s death (1 A.B.Y) Ancient Massassi temple on Yavin IV (Fourth moon of Yavin) Medical facility in the New Republic base 2-1B MEDICAL DROID His midi-clorians level is off the charts, over 21,000. Unfortunately, he also has an extra chromosome. LEIA What does that mean, Two Onebee? 2-1B It means he [...]

Proper Etiquette of Toothpicking Cheese Cubes 101

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I played basketball today and realized I was extremely hungry. I dipped into Gourmet Garage to buy something to eat. I didn’t know what I wanted, so I roamed aimlessly around until I found something. Luckily, The cheese department had five platters of cheese cubes with a cup of toothpicks. Famished, I plucked out a [...]

People occassionally ask me if my Jewish girlfriend is Ashkenazic or Sephardic.

danisms

Recent Posts

MySpace is video crack for egotist with low self esteem.

If Leia and Luke had a Child

God Hates Eggs

Proper Etiquette of Toothpicking Cheese Cubes 101