December 2009

The Most Morbid Song I’ve Ever Heard

entertainment

I have no idea why I was forced to listen to this song this weekend but my ears were raped by these twisted lyrics sung by Kenny Rogers. Everyone considered him the coward of the county. He’d never stood one single time to prove the county wrong. His mama named him Tommy, the folks just [...]

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Nobody Remembers Me

mathematics

It was horrible what happened 4 years ago on 9-11. People lost their lives and will always be remembered. But what about me, I still exist. Somehow through this tragic event, I have been deleted from everyone’s mind. Erased. Eradicated. Brainwashed out of Man’s hard drive. Nine, eleven…nine, eleven…nine, eleven Anything missing? What happened to [...]

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Is the word “leotard” offensive?

danisms

le·o·tard [lee-uh-tahrd] –noun 1. a skintight, one-piece garment for the torso, having a high or low neck, long or short sleeves, and a lower portion resembling either briefs or tights, worn by acrobats, dancers, etc. Slang: Disparaging a. a Spandex-ally leotarded outfit. b. a dumb lion c. a costume that is stupid, obtuse, or ruined [...]

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Condescending Technical Support is the Best Kind

technology

I was updating my computer and at one point I needed to input my ‘IP Address’. I happened to be talking to my buddy who is a computer guru and asked him where I would find this information. He caustically responded, “You don’t know your IP Address?” What the fuck? You should only know your [...]

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Potatoes are Multi-Faceted

favorites

This “morning” , I ordered my usual breakfast at Hebrew National Deli. Two eggs sunny-side up, home-fried potatoes, whole wheat toast, and a small coffee. I say “morning” because it was around 11:30AM which technically is before noon but it shouldn’t be considered morning. When my meal appeared, I was appalled at what I saw. [...]

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