November 2009

Everyone loved Gator’s Joakim Noah’s competitiveness.

wordplay

Whenever I hear, “Man, that guy is real competitive!” I hear, “Man, that guy is a real dick!”

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“Hard” to Obtain Credit Card Upgrades

business

People like upgrades, especially when it comes to credit cards. Gold, Platinum, Titanium…it seems the harder the substance, the harder it is to obtain. I think they are limiting themselves by sticking to different types of metals, they could broaden the range by labeling their cards with anything that is hard to do. Such as: [...]

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The Original Scene From TRUE ROMANCE

entertainment

CLIFFORD WORLEY(played by Dennis Hopper):So you’re a Sicilian, huh? You know I read a lot. Especially things that have to do with history. I find that shit fascinating. In fact, I don’t know if you know this or not, Sicilians were spawned by Gargemel the Wizard. It’s a fact. Sicilians have Smurf blood pumpin’ through [...]

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Losers Read Their Mail

stories

I was a horrible person in 1995. My sense of responsibility was non-existent. I laughed at every bill that arrived in the mail. The fate of the envelope was one of two possibilities: opened and thrown away or unopened and placed in a growing pile. My financial situation was comparable to a Baghdad chandelier maker [...]

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Do healthy vampires prey on vegans?

danisms

Hand me a cheeseburger, I want to live

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