October 2009

The Aztec name for avocado was ahuacatl, meaning “testicle.”

sexuality

The Aztecs considered it a sex stimulant. Vegans love it for its Omega-3 fatty acids. Now everytime I’m with a girl that orders an extra order of guacamole, I think, ‘Either she’s a healthy nymphomaniac or hates men and likes the idea of mashed testicles.’

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Consumerism has Secularized Christmas

business

I am a nerd. I have contacted the U.S. Census and Department of Forestry and have calculated the number of Christmas trees slain since 1830 here in the United States. After hours of geekish research, I have estimated 2.4 billion Christmas trees have been wiped out. With the average tree density of a normal forest, [...]

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New Words: Part I | dembitzian

wordplay

dem·bitz·i·an (dĕm’ bĭtz’ ĕ’ an) adjective 1. Extremely pretentious especially when speaking of wealth. 2. Making every effort to reveal personal wealth or cost of items. [That following statement would be described as dembitzian :"Would anyone like some coffee? It's Kona flown in from Hawaii. It's very expensive."] —Related forms dem·bitz·i·an·ly adverb dem·bitz·ite noun —Synonyms [...]

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danisms

himself

a principal philosophy and system of religion of Astoria, Queens based upon the teachings of a guy named Danocrates Allenopolos in the 21st century. Never eat cotton candy in the rain. My battery charger is a necromancer. Do healthy vampires prey on vegans? An annoying German designer is called a deutschbag. Spanish dictionaries should be [...]

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