July, 2009


30
Jul 09

Germans were Against War with Iraq

When German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder declared “Nein zum Irak-Krieg” (”No to war in Iraq“), pro-war Americans and Brits were appalled by Deutschland’s cowardice.

I see it differently.

If you compared war to alcohol, Germans are like your recently sobered uncle who suffered from alcoholism for decades. Now imagine if your family was ridiculing him for not loosening up at a family wedding. The last thing you want a recovering alcoholic is to hop back on the wagon, especially because of peer pressure. Maybe Americans can drink a case of Budweiser or the English can be satisfied with a few pints of Guinness, but Germans will drain a bottle of Jägermeister.

Citizens of Sudetenland, beware!

Perhaps WWII could have been averted if Woodrow Wilson would have issued the Twelve Step program rather than his Fourteen Points program in 1918 after WWI.

Once a waroholic, always waroholic.

Originally posted 2005-03-16 14:57:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.


30
Jul 09

Disoriented Tourist

Whenever, I surface from the subways, and confidently head in one direction on an avenue. Inevitably, someone walking beside will notice my keen navigational skill and will ask me,

“Are we going up or down?”

I have two responses*:

1.

“Actually we are going horizontal. Our vertical displacement is zero. What are you stupid?”

Then I glare at the person angrily, shake my head, and storm off.

2.

“I don’t know—I’m agnostic, I guess it depends how you’ve lived your life and what you believe in”.

Then I slowly look up and stare at the sky until it gets awkward.

*Unless she’s really hot, then I cut the corny shenanigans.

Originally posted 2005-05-10 23:26:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.


15
Jul 09

My Favorite Cartoon from 1950

My favorite line happens two and half minutes in:
“No…not “Happy Birthday”! No, not that! Please! No! NOT “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”!!!!”

its-hummer-time.png

Perhaps, this is why I’m not well. I still haven’t figured out why the cartoon is titled It’s Hummer Time.

title.png

Any ideas?

Originally posted 2008-03-08 21:54:05. Republished by Old Post Promoter.


9
Jul 09

Keeping Up with The Joneses

SALES CLERK
Would you like to see the new iPod® nano?

ME
No, thanks. I just bought a portable CD player last week.

SALES CLERK
What? Where? Used? It had to be at a pawn shop.

ME
Nope. Brand new. It’s awesome. Has a built in pager, takes Polaroid® pictures, and came with a VHS analog adapter.

anapageroid.jpg

Originally posted 2006-11-07 10:01:00. Republished by Old Post Promoter.