*********************************************************
I do not condone the misuse of the wonderful online community (which sounds like “gregslist.com“) established in San Francisco. However, this was a fun exercise in the world of make-believe. A tall, lanky, “friend” posted this on the aforementioned “gregslist“, and below are the actual responses.
*********************************************************
Rent: $1350
Looking for a Male or Female
No Pets
No Drugs (unless prescriptions, alcohol is fine)
A quaint bedroom in a five bedroom luxury townhouse
All the other bedrooms are unoccupied
Den with Fireplace, Library, and Home Theatre w/ Panasonic TH-65PHD7UY 65-IN. Plasma TV and state of the art Bang & Olufsen sound system
Home Office with Apple G5 w/ Flat Screen Monitor and Cable Modem.
(No access to any of these amenities)
Beautiful kitchen with marble floors, stainless steel countertops, and brand new appliances.
(Unfortunately, no cooking will be permitted)
Washer and dryer are located in the apartment. You will be allowed to utilize them, with the understanding, that your duty will be to wash all clothes (mine included) in the laundry room
The suite is very small in comparison to the other enormous, opulent rooms.
Dimensions are 5′x6′. No closets or windows.
Disclosure about myself:
I have a doctorate degree in Philosophy from Cornell
I have a Rottweiler (Sampson). He is my only friend in the world that I love (or trust for that matter)
He wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless someone tried to harm me or his favorite blanket.
I’m an extreme chain-smoker. I’ll deduct $50 off the rent if you agree to pick up a carton of cigarettes every week from Nat Sherman’s (42nd St and 5th Ave)
I’ve had writer’s block for ten years, and just need intelligent conversaations with a person who has original ideas not regurgitated opinions collected from all the books they have read.
If you feel this is the ideal setting for you email me at :
bengold401@hotmail.com
From: someone@aol.com
Sent: Saturday, December 4th, 2004
To: bengold401@hotmail.com
Subject: room
Your place sounds very interesting, I am giving consideration to your wonderful offer to pay $1350 a month to do something (I don’t think live is the right concept) in your closet space of 5′x6′ in between conversational and cigarette fetching duties. You not only have writer’s block, you have humanity block and reality block. Here’s a novel concept for you to consinder – sharing. Why advertise your plasma tv and new kitchen appliances if they can not be used. You sound like an arrogant, acquisitive egotist and feel sorry for the person stupid enough to pay you for this ridiculous arrangement.
(to be cont’d…waiting for more responses)
