Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Pluto Colonists Rejoice for Return Back to Earth

himself

Since Pluto is offically no longer a planet, Earthlings stationed on Pluto were ordered to come back home. The majority of the colonists were elated about the government’s decision. According to a poll survey, the number one reason for wanting to return to Mother Earth was the length of day. One Plutonian day is the [...]

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Performing Old Material Versus Writing New Material

himself

I heard Tony Bennett being interviewed on the radio and asked if he ever gets tired from singing his 1962 hit “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”. He coyly responded with his own question, “Do you ever get tired of making love?” As a comedian, I feel the same way about some of my [...]

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I Don’t Understand NASCAR Fans’ Infatuation with Their Drivers

himself

Every time I perform in the South, somehow I manage to get surrounded by NASCAR fanatics meeting for the first time. Ritualistically, they start asking each other in a droning redneck mantra, “Who’s your favorite driver? Who’s your favorite dryy-ver? Who’s your favorite dryyy-ver?” Then every goofball starts sounding off: “Rusty Wallace’s my man!” “Man, [...]

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Some Signs Don’t Translate Well

himself
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