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June 2008

I’m Moving to Australia

I “voted” for Obama today on a poll today.
As I was trolling through the comments, I found this:
Mimi from South Philadelphia
I am not black therefore, i will not vote for Obama. I already signed up to help john McCane. I am a Hillary supperter however, I do not think she should take the VP job. [...]

Producing a Comedy Show in NYC
Producing Tips

There are only a 1,000 comedians living in NYC out of the 8 million people in the five boroughs. That means we each get 8,000 a piece. Personally, I only want 1,000 True Fans.
Why only 1,000? Here’s a quote from Kevin Kelly, the founder of Wired,
A creator, such as an artist, musician, photographer, craftsperson, [...]

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Earthlings (specifically Americans) Are Spoiled
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Raised as fat, capitalistic pigs with intrinsic senses of entitlement, we forget that our problems are insignificant when compared to other citizens of this planet.
I was at LaGuardia Airport last week during the blackout and overheard a hysterical woman speaking to a reporter amongst crying babies and other stranded passengers tearfully cry out, “It’s [...]

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“There’s a New Monorail in Town, Springfield!”
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There is a fairly new (two year old) monorail from Manhattan to JFK called the AirTrain®. Which is great because it cuts the commute time in half.

“Monorail, Monorail,Monorail, Monorail…Can you hear it, Manhattan?!”
Unfortunately, not enough people even know about it. So the Port Authority of NY&NJ have been plastering billboards everywhere. They reads: “AirTrain®. If [...]

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Proper Etiquette of Toothpicking Cheese Cubes 101
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I played basketball today and realized I was extremely hungry. I dipped into Gourmet Garage to buy something to eat. I didn’t know what I wanted, so I roamed aimlessly around until I found something.
Luckily, The cheese department had five platters of cheese cubes with a cup of toothpicks.
Famished, I plucked out a cube [...]

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MoMAudio is Horseshit
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MoMA offers a free audio tour to “help” visitors understand what the artist is trying to express.
While helpful with some, you end up looking like a jackass to those brave souls who ventured forth sans audio guidance as you stare at an untitled canvas painted blue by Yves Klein for five minutes listening to a [...]

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danisms
“How did they describe a person who had a photographic memory prior to 1827?”
by Danocrates Allenopolos