Bye, Bye Emos

If you live in a major city, you may have noticed a rise in fixed gear bikes.

A fixed-gear bicycle or fixed wheel bicycle, is a bicycle without the ability to coast. The sprocket is screwed directly on to the hub and there is no freewheel mechanism. A reverse-thread lockring is usually fitted to prevent the sprocket from unscrewing. Whenever the rear wheel is turning, the pedals turn in the same direction.By resisting the rotation of the pedals, a rider can slow the bike to a stop, without the aid of a brake.

Hipsters are gobbling them up. Everywhere I go I see some kid in a fedora hat (who was wearing a Baker’s hat last year) with a Thundercat t-shirt (with quotation marks around the emblem) riding a fixed gear now that it is extremely hip.

I would be hypocrite if I didn’t divulge that I purchased an Emo-mobile last September and love it but I chickened out and got a front brake. The reason I say “chickened out” is because fixed gears are capable of stopping “without the aid of a brake”. Hardcore fixies will give you a “tsk tsk” look when they see that you installed a brake or “testicle remover” as they call them. Fuck that, I ride over the Queensboro Bridge to get home.

At first, I held contempt for these elitists. Then I realized this infectious, fashion trend is awesome. Brakes have somehow become out-of-fashion.

What a beautiful way to thin the herd. Welcome back America!