Entries from May 2008 ↓

Math is Evolving

Euclid, Euler, and Pythagoras were just a few of the founding fathers, who laid the foundation for future mathematicians. Cumulatively throughout history, these geniuses and many others have discovered the wonders of mathematics.

Astrophysicists pursue the origin of our universe, biologists keep decoding DNA, chemists are determined to find the perfect compound, but mathematicians have exhausted all avenues of their field and have to invent “numbers” to continue.

Real Numbers, Unreal Numbers, Transcendental Numbers, Imaginary Numbers, Surreal Numbers, Supernatural Number…etc

This trend of contrived innovation will only lead to the death of math as we know it.

Below is a snapshot of the future sets of numbers:

Philosophical Numbers
numbers that are based on a system of philosophy

Anarchistic Numbers
numbers in a constant state of disorder

Mythical Numbers
fictional numbers that exist in myths
Mythical Numbers would be used to determine the mortality rate of unicorns, calculate the weight of the Loch Ness monster or the population of Atlantis

Blithe Numbers
numbers that exist purely for no reason

Satanic Numbers
numbers that conjure demons

Doppelganger Numbers
numbers that pretend to be other numbers
Doppelganger Numbers are also known as Transnumerical Numbers or “Trannys”. You will find these “Tranny” Numbers used by Thai or Brazilian mathematicians.

STD Numbers
numbers that are infected through the commutative process

I’m Shocked There Aren’t More Suicides

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Results in 5,230,000 pages
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Drops down to 2,980,000
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Not much of a difference at 2,820,000
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It’s official: One million nine hundred sixty thousand people really fucking hate themselves and want to blow their brains out.

If I was in college right now, I would probably major in psychology.

Bye, Bye Emos

If you live in a major city, you may have noticed a rise in fixed gear bikes.

A fixed-gear bicycle or fixed wheel bicycle, is a bicycle without the ability to coast. The sprocket is screwed directly on to the hub and there is no freewheel mechanism. A reverse-thread lockring is usually fitted to prevent the sprocket from unscrewing. Whenever the rear wheel is turning, the pedals turn in the same direction.By resisting the rotation of the pedals, a rider can slow the bike to a stop, without the aid of a brake.

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Hipsters are gobbling them up. Everywhere I go I see some kid in a fedora hat (who was wearing a Baker’s hat last year) with a Thundercat t-shirt (with quotation marks around the emblem) riding a fixed gear now that it is extremely hip.

I would be hypocrite if I didn’t divulge that I purchased an Emo-mobile last September and love it but I chickened out and got a front brake. The reason I say “chickened out” is because fixed gears are capable of stopping “without the aid of a brake”. Hardcore fixies will give you a “tsk tsk” look when they see that you installed a brake or “testicle remover” as they call them. Fuck that, I ride over the Queensboro Bridge to get home.

At first, I held contempt for these elitists. Then I realized this infectious, fashion trend is awesome. Brakes have somehow become out-of-fashion.

What a beautiful way to thin the herd. Welcome back America!

I Only Do Blow with $1000 Bills

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I can’t tell if this is racist.

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I took this photo in the Cayman Islands.

This Thursday: Sacapuntas! @ 9PM

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