Entries from April 2008 ↓

My “friends” Jon Fisch and Joe List were in the green room at Comix comedy club in NYC and overheard my joke,
“I only attract girls who find Skeletor sexy.”

They both agreed that it didn’t make sense because even though Skeletor was theoretically a skeleton. I would never in this lifetime be as muscular as him (perhaps I should replace him with the non-steroidal Mumm-Ra.

I apologize for breaking the fourth wall and speaking to you directly. Let’s stop this virtual relationship that we have and meet in person.

I’m participating in the Parkinson’s Unity Walk on Saturday, April 26th. Would love to see you there.

If you want to join my team, go here.

WHERE:
Central Park at 72nd St. Enter Park from 5th Ave.
WHEN:
1:00 p.m

My team’s goal was $1,500 and we’ve received $1,845. So anything ever that would be awesome.

A five dollar donation would be perfect.

If you can’t make it (or hate walking), you can make a donation here.

Here’s more info about the event here.

Thanks!

Mah nishtanah ha-lahylah ha-zeh mi-kol ha-layloht, mi-kol ha-layloht?

1.)
She-b’khol ha-layloht anu okhlin chameytz u-matzah, chameytz u-matzah. Ha-lahylah ha-zeh, ha-lahylah ha-zeh, kooloh matzah?

2.)
She-b’khol ha-layloht anu okhlin sh’ar y’rakot, sh’ar y’rakot. Ha-lahylah ha-zeh, ha-lahylah ha-zeh, maror?

3.)
She-b’khol ha-layloht ayn anu mat’bilin afilu pa’am echat, afilu pa’am echat. Ha-lahylah ha-zeh, ha-lahylah ha-zeh, sh’tay p’amim?

4.)
She-b’khol ha-layloht anu okhlin bayn yosh’bin u’vayn m’soobin, bayn yosh’bin u’vayn m’soobin. Ha-lahylah ha-zeh, ha-lahylah ha-zeh, koolanu m’soobin?

Why is this night different from all other nights?

1.)
Why is it that on all other nights during the year we eat either bread or matzoh, but on this night we eat only matzoh?

2.)
Why is it that on all other nights we eat all kinds of herbs, but on this night we eat only bitter herbs?

3.)
Why is it that on all other nights we do not dip our herbs even once, but on this night we dip them twice?

4.)
Why is it that on all other nights we eat either sitting or reclining, but on this night we eat in a reclining position?

Why do we do this?

1.)
What time is dinner?

2.)
What are we having for dinner?

3.)
What are we having for dessert?

4.)
Who’s cleaning up?

What would Jesus do at a Seder?

1.)
Are Elijah and Miriam Easter bunnies?

2.)
Why do I get laughed at when I tell people what I believe in?

3.)
Why are a growing number of indecisive Jews for Jesus becoming transvestites?

4.)
Who are we kidding?

Why do Jews act crazy this time of year?

1.)
Why the hell are they afraid of bread?

2.)
Why do they get so many days off?

3.)
Why aren’t there laws to arrest them for using Christian blood in their satanic rituals?

4.)
Why are there so many Jews?

If you’ve never listen to Keith and the Girl’s podcast, you haven’t lived.

This time Keith and the Girl invited Jesse Joyce and myself on the show to go head-to-head. It was therapeutic for our relationship. We are going to get married in August.

Always a fun show.

Here are the thoughts of the KATG fans on their forum

“I knew I would love Jesse and Dan on the same show….. My favorite is when Jesse started yelling at Dan (the project mince meat argument), it sounded a bit like they have been married for years….When there is more than one guest on sometimes the dynamics are weird, but since they already know each other they don’t feel the need to be polite, so they just shit on each other over and over again…. loved it…”
~memecherry

“Just started listening to this and I can’t stop giggling between big bouts of laughter. Jesse and Dan are like a married couple that can’t stop fighting. A funny pair those two really make. I look forward to more shows with them together.”
~juliofromny

Emailing my Dad in Vietnam.

Here’s William Shatner pushing the future of technology: