A Very Odd Easter

A few years ago I was standing in front of the iconic Bowery Poetry Club which is across the street from the infamous but now closed CBGB. I was smoking a cigarette with fellow performers and I confessed,
“Even though I’m not that religious, I feel a little guilty because I woke up this morning, masturbated and then realized it was Easter.” Before anyone could respond, a guy standing next to us started to mumble, “An erection, a resurrection…he had an erection on a resurrection…An erection, a resurrection…(repeat)”.

I would have normally dismissed the guy as a “normal”, crazy homeless guy but I noticed the marquee stating that Jim Carroll, the author of The Basketball Diaries, was performing in a half hour. So instead of walking away from him like my friends did, I approached him and offered him a cigarette. Next thing I now I’m listening to a personalized spoken word piece about my erection and Jesus. Groovy.

Wikipedia tells me Jim was born in 1950 but I was shocked to see how old he actually looked. I would say he was in between Zsa Zsa Gábor and the Crypt Keeper.

The government would save so much money on the War on Drugs if they just took Mr. Carroll on tour to high schools across America. All they would have to do is introduce him to the class and say, “You can do drugs but…” and make an awkward, cartoon-y side glance to Jim. Done.