When I was in San Antonio this weekend, I rented a Porsche 911 at Alamo Rent A Car and the agent’s name was Lusitania.
Ironically, I was visiting my nephew Dresden who was born on Valentine’s Day and fortunately was not named after the Bombing of Dresden in WWII which coincidentally occurred in 1945 between February 13th and the 15th. I want to make him feel comfortable so I’m going to adopt some twins and name them Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
After thought: If you place quotation marks around the word ironic, would that be the equivalent of a double negative?
I’m subscribed to Kayak.com for travel deals. Normally, I get emails that tell me when flights to Orlando dip down below $150 or if there are any spectacular packages to London but today I got this treat: “Night Border Crossing Experience”.
Your ‘coyote’ guide, Pancho, pulls off his black ski mask while actors gather around to scare you senseless along the way…make your way through barbed-wire fences. Survivors are blindfolded…
Wow. What a steal. Only eighteen dollars.
Read more about it here or if you dying to find out what it feels like. Here’s where you can make it happen.
Not sure when I’ll be able to post again. The holoscreen said something about Thundera being unstable and that the planet is about to explode or some shit. WTF??! This sucks! I finally have a hot date this weekend. Awesome. The one shot I had to score and the universe decides to blow up my planet. I’ll be the only Thunderian who dies as a virgin. Jaga told us to pack tonight and that we are leaving at oh-dark thirty. I really hope we leave that stupidass, golden-boy Lion-O. What a queer! I honestly feel that he’s gay. I mean…nothing against gay people. I mean…I like Tygra and everything (although he hasn’t officially come out of the closet…we all know it). Back to Lion-O, the reason I think he’s gay is because he’s always trying to wrestle. It just gets weird sometime. Not to mention the way he stares me down when we have to shower together at school. Maybe I’m just reading into it too much or maybe he’s just envious of my package. It’s not my fault that he’s older and less endowed. He looks like he just got neutered. Anyways…I gotta log off. I don’t want to get yelled at by Ole Jaga-nut tomorrow morning.
I received that idiotic mass email about Obama (Re: Fw: FW: [Fwd: Fw: FW: Barack Hussien Obama) and I mass responded debunking the “facts”, cut and paste pro-Obama material and cc’ed everyone whose inbox was involuntarily raped by this slanderous list of lies about OB.
Then I got an email from a “lady” named Maggie.
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: Re: Re: Fw: FW: Fwd: Fw: FW: Barack Hussien Obama
From: “Maggie” < ??????@centurytel.com>
Date: Tue, February 05, 2008 6:21 pm
To: “Dan Allen”
I do not know you and do not appreciate receiving this email.
If you are embarrassed by showing your US passport while going to different countries, then perhaps you should stay in one of those other countries.
I will put your email address in my “do not accept” file.
Proud to be an American.
Here’s my response:
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Fw: FW: Fwd: Fw: FW: Barack Hussien Obama
From: “Dan Allen”
Date: Tue, February 05, 2008 6:23 pm
To: “Maggie” < ??????@centurytel.com>
Wow.
You are right. I don’t know you and I’m glad I don’t.
As for “proud to be an American”, really? When is the last time you traveled abroad?
As for my patriotism, I served in the USAF, my father was drafted for Vietnam, his father was drafted for WWII and served under Patton during the Battle of the Bulge. In fact, I can trace my family all the way back to the Revolutionary War.
That’s just my father’s side.
My only advice to you is: Read more.
As much as my email offended you. I felt the same receiving that idiotic Obama email.
I’m not saying you sent it to me but I wanted to make sure that all the people that received it have a chance to see it from a different perspective.
I’m sure you will not read this and the this will go directly to your “do not accept” file. You have been single-narrowed minded your entire life. Why would you change now?
Hey guys, my inbox has been flooded with emails from fans asking me, “What is the best way to kill a killer whale?!”
Good question!
Some people love large, commercial nets, others use decoy seals loaded with C4 and amazingly there is a growing number of old-school, harpooning elitists.
After much thought, I realized that killer whales are mammals and as a card-carrying mammal I breathe involuntarily regardless of if I’m awake or asleep. However, killer whales (aka…orcinus orcas) live underwater which means that “they have to actively decide when to breathe“.
Boo-yah!
Since, whales are never completely unconscious. All you have to do is wait until they are in their semi-comatose state of “Dead Man’s Float”, swim to them (I’m guessing very quietly) and give one solid hit to the head with a mallet would work.
I haven’t worked out the details but look forward to hearing back from readers who beta test the idea.
Not sure when I’ll be able to post again. The holoscreen said something about Thundera being unstable and that the planet is about to explode or some shit. WTF??! This sucks! I finally have a hot date this weekend. Awesome. The one shot I had to score and the universe decides to blow up my planet. I’ll be the only Thunderian who dies as a virgin. Jaga told us to pack tonight and that we are leaving at oh-dark thirty. I really hope we leave that stupidass, golden-boy Lion-O. What a queer! I honestly feel that he’s gay. I mean…nothing against gay people. I mean…I like Tygra and everything (although he hasn’t officially come out of the closet…we all know it). Back to Lion-O, the reason I think he’s gay is because he’s always trying to wrestle. It just gets weird sometime. Not to mention the way he stares me down when we have to shower together at school. Maybe I’m just reading into it too much or maybe he’s just envious of my package. It’s not my fault that he’s older and less endowed. He looks like he just got neutered. Anyways…I gotta log off. I don’t want to get yelled at by Ole Jaga-nut tomorrow morning.
