I’m sick of seeing the same formulaic play-on-the team’s name-verbs used to describe how [Team A] beat [Team B].
For example:
Chicago Bulls shot down the Hawks
Orlando Magic tamed the Mavericks
Utah Jazz exterminated the Hornets
Detroit Pistons cooled down the Heat
blah, blah, blah…
Buy a fucking thesaurus or think laterally. Why use the same lame verbs ad nauseum? Why not spice it up a bit?
Here are some better choices:
Chicago White Sox bleached the Red Sox
Boston Red Sox tie-dyed the White Sox
Tampa Bay Buccaneers filleted the Marlins
San Diego Padres molested the Twins
Minnesota Twins prosecuted the Padres
St. Louis Cardinals excommunicated the Padres
Phoenix Suns melted the Nuggets
New York Mets de-winged the Angels
New England Patriots vetoed the Bills
Golden State Warriors de-clawed and neutered the Bobcats
Orlando Magic fossilized the Raptors
Miami Heat dysentery-ed the Trailblazers
More obscure:
Boston Celtics unleashed a Dispel Magic spell on the Magic
Los Angeles Angels Lilliputianized the Giants
Colorado Rockies scurvy-ed the Mariners
LA Lakers hired the Crips and the Bloods to put the “A to the muthafuckin’ K” to the Kings
Seattle Supersonics generated an artificial gravitational field so strong that it created a black hole that sucked away the Suns
New York Yankees embraced Helen Mirren’s portrayal of the Queen and revealed the Royals
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how about the New York Mets unsanctimoniously desecrated the Angels….?