July 2007

My First IMDB Credit

I need to work on my quads, my legs were used in the documentary Warm Springs about FDR. It was the scene where the nurse was sponging his legs. I’m very famous.

I’m sick of seeing the same formulaic play-on-the team’s name-verbs used to describe how [Team A] beat [Team B]. For example: Chicago Bulls shot down the Hawks Orlando Magic tamed the Mavericks Utah Jazz exterminated the Hornets Detroit Pistons cooled down the Heat blah, blah, blah… Buy a fucking thesaurus or think laterally. Why use [...]

Some say I’m intellectually insecure…

himself

I beg to differ. Here’s me in my room just doing some light reading. (Pay no heed to the chalkboard with cryptic formulas and poems that I have scribed on my bedroom wall.) Some people ask, “Why Classical Tibetan?” Well personally, I feel people who learn Modern Tibetan are pussies!

Writer’s Block Strikes Again

himself

Thank God for “The Internet”! If you are in legal trouble, contact this guy:

MySpace is video crack for egotist with low self esteem.
favorites

A few things I’ve absorbed from MySpace: The number of “Friends” in a MySpace profile is a direct correlation to the number of hours logged on to the internet and inversely related to that person’s actual social skill. The beacon enlightens me how unproductive we humans have become. When my beacon is on, I feel [...]

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If Leia and Luke had a Child
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One year after Emperor Palpatine’s death (1 A.B.Y) Ancient Massassi temple on Yavin IV (Fourth moon of Yavin) Medical facility in the New Republic base 2-1B MEDICAL DROID His midi-clorians level is off the charts, over 21,000. Unfortunately, he also has an extra chromosome. LEIA What does that mean, Two Onebee? 2-1B It means he [...]

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God Hates Eggs
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Proper Etiquette of Toothpicking Cheese Cubes 101
favorites

I played basketball today and realized I was extremely hungry. I dipped into Gourmet Garage to buy something to eat. I didn’t know what I wanted, so I roamed aimlessly around until I found something. Luckily, The cheese department had five platters of cheese cubes with a cup of toothpicks. Famished, I plucked out a [...]

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