“There’s a New Monorail in Town, Springfield!”

There is a fairly new (two year old) monorail from Manhattan to JFK called the AirTrain®. Which is great because it cuts the commute time in half.



“Monorail, Monorail,Monorail, Monorail…Can you hear it, Manhattan?!”

Unfortunately, not enough people even know about it. So the Port Authority of NY&NJ have been plastering billboards everywhere. They reads: “AirTrain®. If it was any faster it would be an AirPlane®.”

Personally, I found the advertisement insulting to my intelligence. Which is sad because I’m not that intelligent. Although, I occasionally can fool people into thinking that I am. By American standards, I’m above average, but most Americans are borderline retarded. So that makes me average.

“If it was any faster it would be an AirPlane®.”

No, it wouldn’t. I don’t care if it traveled at the speed of light, it would never transform into an aircraft. The only way that could happen is if the mayor made a deal with the Transformers© to fight terrorists in the guise of mass transit. If this is true, this would extremely inconvenient for travellers.