G.U.T : Grand Unified Theory

I have discovered a formula explaining the Couch Potato Phenomenon by combining Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and Ohm’s Law.

Ohm’s Law states:
V = IR (Voltage equals Current multiplied by Resistance)
So I = V/R

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity states:
E = mc²
So mE=m²c²

Webster’s dictionary defines “ME” as the objective form of “I“.

So we can say:
If mE=I,

then m=I/E

Mass equals current divided by energy

mass: weight gained (fat)
current: forward movement (exercise)
energy: usable power (food)

Using Fermet’s Law we can manipulate the results to suit our needs to:

The weight gained equals the amount of food consumed divided by the amount of exercise.

Let’s apply the G.U.T. formula:

If Joe Six-Pack decided to consume 2 pints of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream and decided to watch the entire Season 1 of The Office, what would be the total weight gained?

Running time of The Office Season 1:
3 hours

Calories burned watching television:
68 calories per hour

Calories in Chunky Monkey:
2480 calories

The G.U.T. formula predicts Joe will have a higher level of LDL cholesterol and an extremely fat ass.

I’m also working on a formula that proves mimes are losers:
mImE = 0