While waiting in the customs line to enter Grand Cayman, I decided to act differently since I was on vacation and decided to make some small talk with my fellow Americans in queue to be processed. I say “act differently” because as a New Yorker, I am forced daily to stand face-to-face with anyone in a subway car and never acknowledge their existence. Since the single file line came to a standstill because the custom agents were native Caymanians and they were operating at the same speed of a person swinging in a hammock underneath two coconut trees, I tried to “mingle” with the crowd and sparked up a light conversation with an older couple.
ME
How was the flight?
OLD WOMAN
Our flight almost got canceled because of the snow.
ME
Ours too. We were stuck on the runway for two hours and they had to de-ice the plane three times. Where are you flying from?
OLD WOMAN
St. Louis. How about yourself?
ME
New York City.
OLD MAN
Oh really?
ME
Well…Astoria, Queens to be exact. She’s from Hoboken. (pointing to my girlfriend) Depending on how you look at it, either we really like each other or we can’t stand each other because there’s an island and two rivers between us. (Everyone laughs)
OLD MAN
I grew up in Brooklyn.
ME
Where in Brooklyn?
OLD MAN
You probably haven’t heard of it. Greenpoint.
ME
Sure I have. I biked from there to Coney Island once.
OLD MAN
It’s changed so much since I was boy. It use to be all Germans, then the Italians (he pronounced it, “eye-tal-yens” with the subtext of “dirty Dagos”) moved in…
ME
(Since my great-grandfather was Sicilian I was slightly offended but let him slide on the Italian comment and just assumed he was a WWII veteran who did a tour in Italy.)
OLD MAN
(He then lowered his voice and looked around)…then the Blacks and the Jews moved in.
MY GIRLFRIEND (A JAMAICAN JEW)
(Disgusted) Nice. I’m going to the bathroom.
This is why I ignore people.
1 comment so far ↓
God! I ignore people when I travel too. Most are idiots of some form or another.
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