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An old post but some delightful young lady left a scathing comment. Enjoy!
They also have Chocolate Toffee: a taste of sweet indulgence. R.J. Reynold isn’t even trying to be subtle with their marketing tactics towards children and people with bad eating habits. Logically, they should merge with companies designed to seduce kids at an early age.
Willy Wonka:
Oompa Loompa® Lights
Nico-Nerds®
Disney:
Chip n’ Dale® Chewing Tobacco
Mickey Mouse® Mediums in a Soft Pack
Nickelodeon:
Sponge Bob Squarepants-alicious® Light 100s
I’m sure their market analysts have reported the fact that there is a growing trend of consumers who are worried about their health. Keep a look out for future marketing schemes for the health conscious.
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At Mother Earth™, we cherish every customer and strive for excellence. In this health-conscious world, we care about each customer’s well being. We guarantee every cigarette will have no artificial dyes or preservatives. In addition, every Mother Earth™ employee (their official title is, “Citizen®”) has health insurance, 401k, and is eligible for financial assistance for higher education. Mother Earth™ cherishes her Citizens® and loves humanity. We hope you enjoy smoking our cigarettes. With all the new anti-smoking laws, we are a dying breed. With your help, we can bring back smoking. Every carton you buy, we will donate $1 to The Cool Kids Fund™. They buy new Zippo® Lighters for underprivileged children in unfortunate situations.
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1 comment so far ↓
cry about it you little baby, you know what i saw today? A brand of pink cigarettes, yes they were pink…go after these fucks and leave rj reynolds alone, they take the heat for every single fukup in the tobbacoo industry.
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