October 2006

Stem Cell Research

himself

I can’t wait until elections are over. I’m sick of hearing people debate about stem-cell research. Everytime I turn on the television set, I see a microphone in front of a fast-food eatin’, NASCAR watchin’, God fearin’, Milwalkee’s Best drinkin’ country bumpkin saying, “I’m votin’ for Governor Allen because he supports our troops, he don’t [...]

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MONOPOLY is the best game the world…

himself

…IF you are winning. If you are losing, you start to hear players say, “Let’s wrap this shit up, I’m done.” But the winner will insist, “No, no, no, no! Let’s finish this! We’re almost done!” They are called board games because you have to be bored-out-of-your-fucking mind to even contemplate playing them. I remember [...]

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I’m Contemplating a Sex Change and Dating an Aging, Billionaire Oil Tycoon

himself

99 YEAR OLD OIL TYCOON Whaddya want to do this weekend, darlin’? BUXOM TRANSEXUAL (Sitting on his lap in his wheelchair) Oh…I don’t know J.T. Maybe we could go to space. 99 YEAR OLD OIL TYCOON Where, honey pie? Whaddya say? BUXOM TRANSEXUAL Space. 99 YEAR OLD OIL TYCOON Huh? BUXOM TRANSEXUAL (Louder) Space. 99 [...]

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