I sent out a mass email last night informing people I had my new Treo phone stolen from me playing basketball here in Queens and asked for everyone to email their updated contact information.
A lot of people did respond to the request and were extremely sympathetic.
Although, a handful of them felt they could help me by “trumping” my troubles with their own.
Examples:
“If it makes you feel any better, I had to buy a new pair of glasses for $350 because my little niece broke them.”
“If you it makes you feel any better, I missed a $1200 gig because of the weather and still had to pay for the cost of the airline tickets. ”
“If you it makes you feel any better, I had to replace my entire muffler system today at Midas.”
As a born and raised consuming, self-serving American, I didn’t tell them because I wanted to be a sounding board for their problems. I told them because I just needed them to be a good listener.
One friend had the audacity to say,
“If it makes you feel any better, my wife just had a miscarriage.”
Who cares? I lost my phone.
You can always make another baby. I can’t just have sex with my girlfriend and magically have a Treo be born nine months later. I have to fork over $375 for a new one. That’s devastating.
2 comments ↓
well,….lol…at least you got 25% off and a courtesy credit of fifty bucks !!! instead of 519.99 for it
right ??
[...] Since I have a Treo, it’s very tempting to add the Unlimited Data Plan for $44.99 and have access to the internet 24/7 (Although I’m not sure if that is a blessing since I’m trying to ween off the web). Not to mention that the name of the pre-installed mobile-browser, Blazer, is very misleading. To me “Blazer” implies a speed equivalent to a samurai’s katana strike or the amount of time it takes Microsoft to make a million dollars…nanoseconds. This “Blazer” has the speed of a samurai underwater armed with a butterfly net or the amount of time it takes the Olsen twins to make a million dollars…minutes. Theoretically, my monthly access charge is only $59 but with all the bells and whistles† (insurance, unlimited text messages, taxes, surcharges and other horseshit hidden fees) it explodes to $92. So the idea of paying $44.99 for a nineteen-ninety-seven-slower-than-dial-up connection does not sound that appealing. I was quoted .002 cents per kilobyte by a Verizon rep for the Pay-As-You-Go Data Plan. That didn’t sound so bad so I decided to try it out. However, it’s actually .002 dollars per kilobyte††. Big difference. Not only is it a hundred times more expensive than I thought, you also burn up minutes from your total allowable minutes. The first month I tried it, I rationed myself to extremely brief moments on the infamous World Wide Web to check out my Gmail with the new mobile app Google unleashed and managed to increase by bill by $39 in data usage charges. Fuck! When I say ‘brief’, I’m not exaggerating. Everytime I hit the ‘Connect’ button on my phone, the theme from Mission Impossible pops into my head and I feel like I’ve initiated the launching sequence that will transform my phone into a thermal detonator. Unsuspecting citizens will be vaporized because I had to check my email. Once I disconnect, it takes a few minutes to regulate my heart rate and begin breathing normally. It’s truly not healthy. I’ll be the only douchebag in existence to die of a heart attack due to thriftiness. † Which is upseting because I’ve never received one bell or a whistle from Verizon †† Verizon Reps suck at math: here and here [...]
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