I overheard a conversation in Spanish on the subway about a well-groomed metrosexual:
“Si no es un pato, esta cerca del lago.”
“If he’s not a duck, he’s close to the lake.”
Entries from January 2006 ↓
Mexican Metrosexuals
January 30th, 2006 — international, overheard nyc
A BASIC Program I Wrote in 4th Grade on my VIC 20
January 28th, 2006 — himself, technology
10 PRINT “What is funny?”
20 INPUT A
30 IF A= “Dan Allen” THEN PRINT “You are a genius.”
40 IF NOT A= “Dan Allen” THEN PRINT “Have you not lived?”
50 GOTO 10
60 END
If this is in your MySpace profile, we aren’t meant to be
January 23rd, 2006 — people, technology
General:
Tanning, flirting, disney world, tinkerbell….she is the hoochie of disney..lol, six flags, stilletos, purses, any thing that glitters ;), girly stuff, aldo, XXI, brazilian jeans…nice and low! 
photoshoots, people who just brighten my day, lipgloss, MAC, vodka, disel, modeling, grey goose, captin morgan, socializing, having a great time, art, cars, what’s hot, high end designers……Tiffany & Co., Chanel, Louis Vuttion, Gucci, Christian Dior, Abercrombie & Fitch, bars, clubs, fashion, modeling, pictures, the mall, technology, arts, broadway, Italy, California, New York, Hawaii, Cancun, Las Vegas… traveling in general….I would love to go to Paris and Austrila some day.
more to come
Blogging is voyeuristic mental masturbation.
January 20th, 2006 — people, technology
Journey Has Integrity
January 18th, 2006 — people
What I love about Journey is their self-awareness of the fact that someone would take the time and energy to create and host a website to bash their band.
I say this because if you go to: http://journeysucks.com, you will be redirected to their main website. Now, that’s foresight.
I thought I had low-self esteem.
I hate the word, “Policy”
January 17th, 2006 — wordplay
It looks like a gay adjective describing policemen that should be pronounced, “poe-lee-see”.
Example:
“I wish it was navy blue, I’m not a big fan of policy blue.”
Name Dropping versus Name Throwing
January 16th, 2006 — overheard nyc
I overheard a conversation:
SOME DUMB DUDE
I hate schmoozing. I’m no good at it. Man, I wish I was like Eric. That dude is awesome at networking. He’s like real good at name-throwing, if you know what I mean.
Name-throwing? What the fuck is that? I’ve heard of name-dropping, but I’ve never heard of a name-throwing. A name-thrower sounds like a weapon used in Viet Nam.
SOME DUMBER DUDE
I fucking rocked at that industry party last night. I name-palmed the shit out of that place.
What does Falluja mean in Arabic?
January 13th, 2006 — politics, wordplay
Falluja (or الفلوجة) is the Arabic word describing what happens when a man has an ejaculation.
INSURGENT® is a cleaning product designed specifically to eliminate falluja-related stains.
Used in a sentence:
Mother
Dammit Billy, this better not be your falluja on the quilt your Grandmother made…I swear to God, you are buying the next bottle of INSURGENT®!
What is the Name of Your Country?
January 13th, 2006 — international, people
If you flew to Tokyo, and were to ask any Japanese citizen walking on the street, “What country do you live in?”
That person would say without hesitation, “Nippon.”
This would be very awkward, since you would then have to politely correct them and inform them that they live in Japan not in the Make-Believe Land of “Nippon”.
Who is right?
We have Westernized the name of every country we have encountered.
Hindustan ceases to exist and is called India.
Deutchland is forgotten and is now dubbed Germany.
Italia turns to Italy, Spain replaces España,…etc
Criticizing American’s globalization and smothering domination has become far too easy. It isn’t edgy anymore. Its the norm. Though in this particular case, we are not alone.
Spanish people call Germany, Alemania. The French say l’Allemagne and Italians insist its la Germania.
Fortunately, it is limited to the name of the countries and does not extend to the individual names of the citizens.
BOSS
Gary! Jesse! Bring that crate over here.
GARCON
Pardon je, Monsier. Mon nom est Garcon. Ce n’est pas Gary.
JESUS
Si, señor. Mi nombre es Jesus. No es Jesse.
BOSS
Listen here…we don’t understand your bullshit languages and don’t want to hear that kind of jibber-jabber around here. In fact, we don’t really care what you two think. You call yourself whatever you want…to yourselves. But if you don’t like it, you can go back to you own damn country. This ain’t Uzbekistan.
In conclusion, humans are fundamentally resistant to adopting and adapting to different cultures. However, we are all carbon-based life forms composed of the same basic molecular structure. The actual quantified DNA difference between any organisms is so infinitesimally small. We should thank God, Allah, David Koresh, or whom ever you choose to believe in for giving us the proper genetic coding to be homo sapiens. We are few deoxyribonucleic acid strands away from being a lemur or a sweet potato.
Furthermore, we can’t even agree on one word to describe the asymetrical ellipsoid in which we live on.
Earth (English)
Mundo (Spanish)
Duniya (Hindi)
Erde (German)
Terra (Italian)
We need to get our heads out of our asses and come up with an international word for our planet or we will become the laughing stock of the United Milky Way Planets Federation.
Overheard Through My Window in Queens
January 13th, 2006 — overheard nyc, people
I couldn’t sleep last night because of the pain, and was elated to finally fall into slumber at the crack of dawn. Only to be awoken by annoying song birds, a woodpecker drilling another useless hole, a squirrel trying scrape his way through my thru-the-wall air conditioning unit, and little fucking boy hitting a concrete wall with a sledge hammer.
Queens Father
That’s it, Jimmy! Keep hitting it!
Queens Kid
I’m gettin’ tired, Dad.
Queens Father
Quit yer whinen’ and keep swingin’
Queens Mother
Come on, Frankie. Give him a break!
Queens Father
Hey, Womens-Lib you want to come out here?
Please free me from my prison.
