I always spoon with a girl that I make love with…

…unless she has an abnormally large ass.
Then we have to ladle.

♫Oh, ladle, ladle, ladle

This is how we lay

And when she’s round and ready

Then, ladle will we lay♫

MySpace is video crack for egotist with low self esteem.

favorites

A few things I’ve absorbed from MySpace: The number of “Friends” in a MySpace profile is a direct correlation to the number of hours logged on to the internet and inversely related to that person’s actual social skill. The beacon enlightens me how unproductive we humans have become. When my beacon is on, I feel [...]

If Leia and Luke had a Child

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One year after Emperor Palpatine’s death (1 A.B.Y) Ancient Massassi temple on Yavin IV (Fourth moon of Yavin) Medical facility in the New Republic base 2-1B MEDICAL DROID His midi-clorians level is off the charts, over 21,000. Unfortunately, he also has an extra chromosome. LEIA What does that mean, Two Onebee? 2-1B It means he [...]

Proper Etiquette of Toothpicking Cheese Cubes 101

favorites

I played basketball today and realized I was extremely hungry. I dipped into Gourmet Garage to buy something to eat. I didn’t know what I wanted, so I roamed aimlessly around until I found something. Luckily, The cheese department had five platters of cheese cubes with a cup of toothpicks. Famished, I plucked out a [...]

I always spoon with a girl that I make love with…

danisms

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If Leia and Luke had a Child

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Proper Etiquette of Toothpicking Cheese Cubes 101